well i found out im not color blind and that i can count the pins.
i figured out my problem, omg, it was the o2 sensor line. when i removed the o2 sensor from stock exhaust pipe, and installed it to my new downpipe, a line came loose somehow, i guess i pulled on it. but anyways, i installed a brand new o2 sensor just to be more accurate in tuning. so this explains why my ecu and safc were having trouble.

now im in the process of tuning, and its a pain still cuz im still having trouble with idling. thermafi'd is helping me out with tune, thanks bro.