SACG
11-15-2005, 09:39 PM
#1
1.5 BAR
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 691
SACG
Sexual Activity Calorie Guide
It has been known for many years that Sex was good exercise, but until now nobody had made a scientific study of the calorie content of different sexual activities. Now after "original and proprietary" research the results are in:
REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent...............................12 Calories
Without her consent..........................2187 Calories
OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands................................8 Calories
With one hand.................................12 Calories
With your teeth..............................485 Calories
PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection...............................6 Calories
Without an erection.........................3315 Calories
PRELIMINARIES:
Trying to find the clitoris.....................8 Calories
Trying to find the G-Spot...................4092 Calories
POSITIONS:
Missionary......................................12 Calories
69 lying down..................................78 Calories
69 standing up................................812 Calories
Wheelbarrow...................................216 Calories
Doggy Style...................................326 Calories
Italian chandelier...........................2912 Calories
ORGASMS:
Real..........................................112 Calories
Fake.........................................1315 Calories
POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging........................................... .......18
Calories
Getting up immediately....................................... .......36
Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately...........816 Calories
GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:
If you are:
20-29 years....................................36 Calories
30-39 years....................................80 Calories
40-49 years...................................124 Calories
50-59 years..................................1972 Calories
60-69 years..................................7916 Calories
70 and over..............................Results are still pending
DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly.........................................32 Calories
In a hurry.....................................98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door.........5218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door........13,521
It has been known for many years that Sex was good exercise, but until now nobody had made a scientific study of the calorie content of different sexual activities. Now after "original and proprietary" research the results are in:
REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent...............................12 Calories
Without her consent..........................2187 Calories
OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands................................8 Calories
With one hand.................................12 Calories
With your teeth..............................485 Calories
PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection...............................6 Calories
Without an erection.........................3315 Calories
PRELIMINARIES:
Trying to find the clitoris.....................8 Calories
Trying to find the G-Spot...................4092 Calories
POSITIONS:
Missionary......................................12 Calories
69 lying down..................................78 Calories
69 standing up................................812 Calories
Wheelbarrow...................................216 Calories
Doggy Style...................................326 Calories
Italian chandelier...........................2912 Calories
ORGASMS:
Real..........................................112 Calories
Fake.........................................1315 Calories
POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging........................................... .......18
Calories
Getting up immediately....................................... .......36
Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately...........816 Calories
GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:
If you are:
20-29 years....................................36 Calories
30-39 years....................................80 Calories
40-49 years...................................124 Calories
50-59 years..................................1972 Calories
60-69 years..................................7916 Calories
70 and over..............................Results are still pending
DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly.........................................32 Calories
In a hurry.....................................98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door.........5218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door........13,521
11-16-2005, 01:07 PM
#3
1.5 BAR
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,463
Re: SACG
Originally Posted by djfob
I prefer blow jobs.......0 calories for me but if she swallows she'll be gaining some :P
I have always been trying to tell the ladies "why hit the gym, when you got a full calorie burning workout at home..."
