SACG
Sexual Activity Calorie Guide
It has been known for many years that Sex was good exercise, but until now nobody had made a scientific study of the calorie content of different sexual activities. Now after "original and proprietary" research the results are in: REMOVING HER CLOTHES: With her consent...............................12 Calories Without her consent..........................2187 Calories OPENING HER BRA: With both hands................................8 Calories With one hand.................................12 Calories With your teeth..............................485 Calories PUTTING ON A CONDOM: With an erection...............................6 Calories Without an erection.........................3315 Calories PRELIMINARIES: Trying to find the clitoris.....................8 Calories Trying to find the G-Spot...................4092 Calories POSITIONS: Missionary......................................12 Calories 69 lying down..................................78 Calories 69 standing up................................812 Calories Wheelbarrow...................................216 Calories Doggy Style...................................326 Calories Italian chandelier...........................2912 Calories ORGASMS: Real..........................................112 Calories Fake.........................................1315 Calories POST ORGASM: Lying in bed hugging........................................... .......18 Calories Getting up immediately....................................... .......36 Calories Explaining why you got out of bed immediately...........816 Calories GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are: 20-29 years....................................36 Calories 30-39 years....................................80 Calories 40-49 years...................................124 Calories 50-59 years..................................1972 Calories 60-69 years..................................7916 Calories 70 and over..............................Results are still pending DRESSING AFTERWARDS: Calmly.........................................32 Calories In a hurry.....................................98 Calories With her father knocking at the door.........5218 Calories With your wife knocking at the door........13,521 |
Re: SACG
I prefer blow jobs.......0 calories for me but if she swallows she'll be gaining some :P
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Re: SACG
Originally Posted by djfob
I prefer blow jobs.......0 calories for me but if she swallows she'll be gaining some :P
I have always been trying to tell the ladies "why hit the gym, when you got a full calorie burning workout at home..." |
Re: SACG
LOL
BTW wtf is "Italian chandelier" ??? |
Re: SACG
Originally Posted by Donald125
LOL
BTW wtf is "Italian chandelier" ??? |
Re: SACG
NICE. That ---- is funny. :y
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Re: SACG
Originally Posted by Donald125
LOL
BTW wtf is "Italian chandelier" ??? |
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