Ive searched and as far as I know this isnt a repost

http://www.fmylife.com/

Today, I was helping supervise a 5 year old's birthday party in an inflatable obstacle course. I was playing hide and seek with them. I saw the birthday boy and crept around the corner and yelled "Found you!" He peed his pants. FML

Today, when my boyfriend and I were lying in bed, he grabbed my double chin and goes "gobble, gobble". FML

Today, I told my mom I was excited my ***** were getting bigger. She told me that that's what happens when you get fat. FML

Today, I was complaining to my sister about how jealous I was of her looks. Her response was "Sometimes it's okay to be the ugly sister. Like, you have less of a chance of getting raped." FML

Today, I was sitting at home, venting to my parents about how I never get asked out by any of the guys at school. My Dads words of wisdom were "Don't worry, looks don't matter so much in college. Once they've had a few beers in them, they'll date anything." FML

 

The most likely reason you didn't find it in a search is because it's not funny.

 

this is gayer then the copy machine thread

 

rofl

 

hahah the further i go the better they get

 

Did you even watch the copy machine vid? Like, to the end? That chick did A2m and got tea-bagged by some old dude that looks like he belongs in a ZZ Top video.

 

Today, I listened to my room mate having sex from 3 A.M. until 6 A.M. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML

 

lmao!

 

Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11 to her garage where we start to have sex. When she comes to climax she slips and hits her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down, we were both still naked and she was unconscious. FML

 

Today, I received a random packet of papers in the mail by the state suing me for child support. I am 22 and still a virgin. FML

Ownd