Re:since everyone else is bitchin about chics...
 

I can't really speak from a marriage's point of view, but i'm engaged and have been with my fiance for over 6 years now. When we first started dating, things were all hot and heavy, like they always are. But after we hit around two years, things started slowin down also. Pretty much the same things as you...cept for the in debt part. Shw said that she had some doubts and whatever else, but i didn't pressure her at all, i just let her come around on her own. Things kinda picked back up after that...and trust me...those months were hell, but everything worked out all right. Just make sure you guys have communication. It's the key to a succesful marriage (or so i've been told ;D) Talk to her about what's goin on and see what her side of the story is too. Don't just walk away from it all, especially if you really love her. That's pretty much my 2 cents worth. Hope it helps!

Re:since everyone else is bitchin about chics...
 

funny this post is up right now, damn bro, ur being a little timid on this one. Im feeling way to bad for u at this moment because ive sorta gone through this ----, only without the marriage. Girls/Guys get very weird just randomnly after some ---- happens.. When did u notice ---- start going wrong? Whether shes cheating on u or not, honestly speaking, not having sex when ur married is very unhealthy man.. What gives? Anyways your definately not asking to much and u should be concerned about ur $ and her debt, cuz u married into it. Congrats its ur debt to. Lastly u need to grab her by the hand and sit her down for a few hours and have a major talk, if she doesnt want the talk or doesnt want to change after the talk, i really dont know what to tell u except the most obvious thing, Get urself out of that unhealthy relationship, ur gonna grow old and sad and be the woman of the house.
Trade her in for a crx or something

Re:since everyone else is bitchin about chics...
 

No man, he normally gets drunk.. just cause he has zero outside contact because of his work hours and life. I typically just drink by myself, like any normal alcoholic. I'm quite secure in my hetrosexuality, we have ran trains on girls way back in the day, but that's about the limit of it. He is a close friend of mine, but it's nothing like what you think.


oh, and Sccag;
yeah, you don't keep that ---- up and lose your grip and you're fucked. Let it keep sliding and the ---- will only get worse.

Re:since everyone else is bitchin about chics...
 

Thanks guys. I tried to say something last night to her, and she just changed the subject and waled away. Ive tried to say something to her many times. She never just wants to admit it. (the first step) Ive told her I would get another job to get her out of debt, and she doesnt want me to do that. I tried to tell her, Our paychecks arent cutting it, so some more money needs to be made somewhere. I am just gonna tell her tonite, look if we dont make a dent in her debt by the fall, the divorce papers are comming...
now its getting down to we have less than a year in the military and its time to buy a house and stuff, and Im not buying a house with her if this is the way shes going to be....

Re:since everyone else is bitchin about chics...
 

sccaeg -

you are pulling out the big guns huh? You might want to be gentle and VERY picky with the words you choose. I wouldn't necessarily use the word "divorce". I'd say something alone the lines of "if we dont shape up blah blah blah, I dont know how we are going to work or have a family or buy a house." That is less direct and less of a in your face approach that still gets the point across...

Dude, I really I hope things work out for the best buddy... Keep us updated with the wifey

Re:since everyone else is bitchin about chics...
 

Re:since everyone else is bitchin about chics...
 

THanks so much everyone for the advice.
Like I said, I am going to talk to her. I bring all of this up on here, because Im sure someone else will have the same problem...
Im just gonna talk to her, let her know everything, and tell her that if things dont change, money, us being responsible, us growing up...bla bla bla...and I will use words like..should we and what do you think, and use my old car salesman tricks (ask yes anwser questions). I dont really see anything bad Im doing, I try in so many ways, and her mom even agrees with me...
Im not going to try to get her to say the D word, but...im not going to avoid it either. we will see...
thanks again

Re:since everyone else is bitchin about chics...
 

don't forget to demand the sex part. You are married ya know.

Re:since everyone else is bitchin about chics...
 

Personally IMO, leave her... if she can't handle money and she's in major debt.. leave her or MAKE her manage her money, my friends cousin is married and they are in soooooooo much debt its not even funny cuz they can't handle money at all.. they don't pay bills on time and ----.. they can't even take out a loan for a car anymore cuz they didn't pay the car payments for like 3 months +.

sorry, i know its hard and all but you should really think things through in the long run..

*UPDATE* since everyone else is bitchin about chics...
 

Everyone wanted an update....

I havent really said much to her in terms on what if....
I have just tried to help out as much as I can. Its not working....anyways
Shes always asking why Im on HMT all the dam time.(maybe an hour at night) Well the other day I come home from work, and she askes what my screen name is on here. SO i told her, and then she says, why did you bitch to them about our problems...(she found this post) I was like ohhhh lord here we go.
To make a long story short, I told her that I loved her, and I didnt want anything to happen to us, but she shows me in alot of ways that we wouldnt work, and she is becomming very irresponsible. I showed her on paper, our income to debt ratio and that we are ok with money, we have extra money to buy ---- after we pay for everything, even her debts! I was amazed. then she says, I do pay them, so shes lieing. I was like look, these fuckers call here every night lookin for money from you. Then I said, we are in no way stable enough to buy a home in the next year with her irresponsibly. I told her that if she didnt change he ways that things would change for us....
So we will see where that goes.