More funny shiznet!
08-21-2004, 05:10 PM
#1
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More funny shiznet!
http://www.goofyville.com/viewvideo....nny-cats-video
http://www.goofyville.com/viewvideo....-hyundai-video
JOKE
blonde was swerving all over the road and driving really badly, so she got pulled over by a cop.
The cop walked up to her window and asked, "Lady, why are you driving so recklessly?"
The blonde said, "I'm sorry sir, but wherever I go, there's always a tree in front of me and I can't seem to get away from it!"
The cop looked at her and said, "Lady, it's your air freshener!"
http://www.goofyville.com/viewvideo....-hyundai-video
JOKE
blonde was swerving all over the road and driving really badly, so she got pulled over by a cop.
The cop walked up to her window and asked, "Lady, why are you driving so recklessly?"
The blonde said, "I'm sorry sir, but wherever I go, there's always a tree in front of me and I can't seem to get away from it!"
The cop looked at her and said, "Lady, it's your air freshener!"
08-21-2004, 05:15 PM
#2
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Re:More funny shiznet!
Legend has it that there is a bar in New York where, in the Ladies Room there is a very special mirror. If one stands in front of the mirror and tells the truth, one is granted a wish. However, if one tells a lie -- *poof* -- you are instantly swallowed up by the mirror, never to be seen again. Sooooo, A redhead of questionable looks walks into the Ladies Room and stands before the mirror and says, "I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world." -- *poof* The mirror swallows her. Next a rather large brunette stands before the mirror and says, "I think I'm the sexiest woman alive." -- *poof* The mirror swallows her. Then an absolutely gorgeous blond comes in and stands before the mirror and says, "I think...." -- *poof*.
08-21-2004, 05:16 PM
#3
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Re:More funny shiznet!
There was a blonde and a brunette at a bar watching the ten'o clock news, and there was a man at the edge of a cliff about to jump off.
The brunette said, "I bet you fifty dollars that he will jump."
The blonde said, "Ok".
They both put there money on the bar. The man jumped off, so the brunette took the money and said, "Do you know how I knew he was going to jump?"
The blonde said, "How".
The brunette said, "I saw the five'o clock news."
The blonde said, "So did I, I just didn't think he would jump again."
The brunette said, "I bet you fifty dollars that he will jump."
The blonde said, "Ok".
They both put there money on the bar. The man jumped off, so the brunette took the money and said, "Do you know how I knew he was going to jump?"
The blonde said, "How".
The brunette said, "I saw the five'o clock news."
The blonde said, "So did I, I just didn't think he would jump again."
08-21-2004, 05:21 PM
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Re:More funny shiznet!
here's a really funny one.
This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that londes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5
0 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is ok. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat. She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said to achieve best results, put on two coats.
This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that londes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5
0 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is ok. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat. She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said to achieve best results, put on two coats. 
08-21-2004, 05:26 PM
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Re:More funny shiznet!
here's a really good one.. long but, worth it
A little old lady went into the Bank of America one day carrying a bag of money. She insists that she must speak with the President of the bank to open a savings account because it's a lot of money.
They finally get her into the presidents office and he asks her how much she would like to deposit. She says she has $165,000 and then dumps it out of the bag onto his desk. The president was surprised and of course curious as to how she came by all this cash, so he asks her. The old lady says, "I make bets."
The president replies, "Bets? What kind of bets?" and she says, "For example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your ***** are square."
"Ha!" says the president, "That's a stupid bet, you can never win that kind of bet."
The old lady says, "So, would you like to take my bet?"
"Sure," says the president, "I'll bet $25,000 that my ***** are not square!"
The little old lady says, "OK, but since there is a lot of money involved is it OK with you if I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00 AM to witness?"
"Sure," says the president.
That night the president got very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of a mirror checking his *****, turning from side to side, again and again, thoroughly checking them out until he was sure that there is no way his ***** are square and that he will win the bet.
The next morning at 10 AM the little old lady appears with her lawyer at the president's office. She introduces the lawyer to the president and repeats the bet, that $25,000 says the president's ***** are square. The president agrees with the bet again and the old lady asks him to drop his pants so they can see. The president does this.
The little old lady looks closely at his ***** and then asks if she can feel them.
"Well, OK" says the president, $25,000 is a lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely sure."
Then he notices that the lawyer is quietly banging his head against the wall and he asks the old lady, "What is wrong with your lawyer?"
She replies, "Nothing, except I bet him $100,000 that by 10 AM today I'd have The Bank of America's president's ***** in my hands!"
A little old lady went into the Bank of America one day carrying a bag of money. She insists that she must speak with the President of the bank to open a savings account because it's a lot of money.
They finally get her into the presidents office and he asks her how much she would like to deposit. She says she has $165,000 and then dumps it out of the bag onto his desk. The president was surprised and of course curious as to how she came by all this cash, so he asks her. The old lady says, "I make bets."
The president replies, "Bets? What kind of bets?" and she says, "For example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your ***** are square."
"Ha!" says the president, "That's a stupid bet, you can never win that kind of bet."
The old lady says, "So, would you like to take my bet?"
"Sure," says the president, "I'll bet $25,000 that my ***** are not square!"
The little old lady says, "OK, but since there is a lot of money involved is it OK with you if I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00 AM to witness?"
"Sure," says the president.
That night the president got very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of a mirror checking his *****, turning from side to side, again and again, thoroughly checking them out until he was sure that there is no way his ***** are square and that he will win the bet.
The next morning at 10 AM the little old lady appears with her lawyer at the president's office. She introduces the lawyer to the president and repeats the bet, that $25,000 says the president's ***** are square. The president agrees with the bet again and the old lady asks him to drop his pants so they can see. The president does this.
The little old lady looks closely at his ***** and then asks if she can feel them.
"Well, OK" says the president, $25,000 is a lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely sure."
Then he notices that the lawyer is quietly banging his head against the wall and he asks the old lady, "What is wrong with your lawyer?"
She replies, "Nothing, except I bet him $100,000 that by 10 AM today I'd have The Bank of America's president's ***** in my hands!"
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