i think i have hemroids
 

ok, lets not be childish, def not HHH

but really, for a while now i have had the small irritaing bump on the hole of my ass. it usually dosent bother me unless i take a ----. but if i shower right after it dosent bother me. when i first got it, it felt like my ass had ripped and there was some bleeding (again, no homo). every once in a while it this happens. i say 90* of the time it dosent bother me. if i get any irritation it goes away. i guess i gotta get some preperation H

this sux, its been like this for 2 months. i figured it would go away on its own but it hasent. i just looked up hemroids and it seem s like i got most of the symptoms

has anyone else had this, what is some good ---- to get rid of it?

Re: i think i have hemroids
 

pretty ------- radical post there.

It sounds to me like you have one. Go to the doctor and have them check it out asap sicko. In the meanwhile change your diet for the minimum intake of hot sauce and johnson.









Okay I just puked.


lol

Re: i think i have hemroids
 

:-X

Re: i think i have hemroids
 

SQHH

Re: i think i have hemroids
 

sounds like syphilis...

Re: i think i have hemroids
 

for a week eat only veggies and alot of bran

Re: i think i have hemroids
 

this isnt web md

Re: i think i have hemroids
 

i read sometinhg about alot of bran. do they have any otc medicine that cures this. what the hell causes these.

Re: i think i have hemroids
 

dude go to the damn doctor or web md. Anything we tell you is just going to be speculation because
1) no one wants to look at that ----
2) we're not doctors


good luck with your syphilis, sounds like you've had it for a while too. Just wait till it starts eating away at your brain :6

Re: i think i have hemroids
 

the ---- that pops up on HMT never amazes me. :S

Re: i think i have hemroids
 

i think its from forcing to hard, or maybe your toilet paper has similar properties to sandpaper, could be a number of things that iritate the sphincter

Re: i think i have hemroids
 

just ------ some OC on your taint and let it run down to your anoose. Should fix you right up :-X

Re: i think i have hemroids
 

i got one of these trying to change brake pads on a expedition with 24's :3


mine went away with in a few weeks though..something is wrong with your ass dude..literally

Re: i think i have hemroids
 

Oh, my.

Re: i think i have hemroids
 

lol yeah the ---- here always makes me laugh. and since no one else has said it yet.....




haha you got hemmoroids!

Re: i think i have hemroids
 

Netsearch says:

Stress, diet. You want to eat some fiber to bulk up your poop and keep it soft, and you need to take a minute on the can and not be in a rush or you'll keep hurting yourself.

Uhm, go see a doc, too. They have cheap/free clinics where I am at, put your ear to the ground if you don't know where they are at.

Re: i think i have hemroids
 

WAIT... WAIT... WAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTT YOU ----------ER!!!!




OK.

Re: i think i have hemroids
 

Awesome post... LMAO..

does it look like this???


http://www.mariquita.com/images/phot...auliflower.jpg


Hope hotrex didnt come get you/ in you in your sleep nig nog...




LOL...... This post made me laugh harder than a crackstrip ----- at Scottsis little asian weenie...


LOL



JK....


jUST TRY NOT TO GET YOUR ---- PUSHED IN...



LOL

Re: i think i have hemroids
 

If you have any family members that are Truck drivers, talk to them. My father drives a rig and he said it sounds like one but maybe just a busted vessel from probably rescent stress"pushing too hard" or Chafing from the heat.

Re: i think i have hemroids
 

You: Hey dad, this kid on the internet has some problem with his ass. I am really worried about him
Dad: Well son, what are his symptoms
You: *symptoms*
Dad: Sounds like a hemeroid to me, better get on there and tell him my truck drivn' ass knows all about em.

kill yourself.

Re: i think i have hemroids
 

LOL nicely done Cray. Best laugh I've had today.



Now save this thread with some PORN nukka

Re: i think i have hemroids
 

Maybe a hernia?? I thought hemoroids were like when your intestines start trying to come out your butt?? Either way, you need to go to a doctor before whatever it is gets real bad. I've heard that hemoroids hurt like a maafucker...

Re: i think i have hemroids
 

this is great. i start my new job next week so i am gonna wait til the insurance kicks over cuza i ant trying to pay $300 to get some ass cream. i think i got it from using the cheap ass toilet paper at my stressful over nite job. i do drive trucks during the day so who knows. it really doesnt bother me. other then when if first happent it hasent been tight/ripping. no bleeding or anyting, just an annoyling little bump. just one. not herps or anytihng.

and the suckiest part is i am about to turn 26 and they are gonna want to give me the finger test.

Re: i think i have hemroids
 

Roids are usually a blown out vein in your anus, like the wall tears and they get all swollen and ----. Go buy Preparation H and deal with it like that first. But roids have nothing on what I went through today. I was super constipated at McDonalds so I hobbled out of there like I had a corn cob up my ass and drove to the grocery store for some laxatives. I never felt such discomfort in my life. A half hour later I'm back at the office in the bathroom fighting the plug which shot out and was followed by a 3 foot long ----.

Re: i think i have hemroids
 

If its really bad , the doc will use a small knife and puncture it. Instant relieve. You can DIY but steralization is essential here.

Re: i think i have hemroids
 

Can you imagine your girlfriend walking in on you popping your own hemorrhoids?

Re: i think i have hemroids
 

This thread went from somewhat discomfiting to downright disturbing.

Re: i think i have hemroids
 

get some preparation h, put it on your finger.
shove the bump back up your -------, don't strain next time you take a ----.

Re: i think i have hemroids
 

^ this man's felt the ass pain too

Re: i think i have hemroids
 

Ummmm,.....


Just....uhhhhh.....


WTF? HMHC

Home Made Hemmoroid Cure.

Re: i think i have hemroids
 

not quite, but some guys at work have told stories of their pain, as well as remedies. if the hemaroid is still inside your -------, preparation h goes straight into the pooper.

Re: i think i have hemroids
 

I have on right now also, It goes away for a few months, then pops back out when I am really straining to ----. only reason I strain is because i'm an addict name Mike thats addicted to percs. take 4 10's a day for the past like 4-5 years.

I'm hoping that ---- goes away because every time I ---- I grasp the damn seat, pull the cheeks apart and let'r rip lol. takes me a while too. I only have 1 small like pellet size one so its not like i look like my ------- exploded lol. Oh well, i'm def not gonna go buy no Perperation H though and look like a homo at the counter. Stool softeners work great too though for roids.

Good luck with that ---- man.

Re: i think i have hemroids
 

You can order it online, shipped to your door discreetly wrapped in a plain brown paper envelope. Same way BDVT gets his viagra.

Re: i think i have hemroids
 

only took 3 posts to reference hotrex. what has hmt come to?

Re: i think i have hemroids
 

I have a new sig. Thanks.

Re: i think i have hemroids
 

Oh man I love HMT. This ---- always cracks me up. Just before you crap, just spit on your cornhole and it'll slide out easier. Kinda like hauking a loogy on your Jolly Roger before you walk the plank into your wenches dried out haymaker.

Re: i think i have hemroids
 

Dave likes sigs that reference worn and broken assholes, what can I say?

Re: i think i have hemroids
 

this thread is worthless without pics

Re: i think i have hemroids
 

I was gonna say that but then I came to my senses (the little that I still have) still have burned images in my cranium from those Hotrex beanbag pics. :X

Re: i think i have hemroids
 

This thread is NSFW and disgusting. Excellent reading material before breakfast.