I almost got laid tonight
 

I brought another chic home tonight. This time I was in the mood for the booty and not the back rub.

We started fooling around and I went to get a rubber

I accidently broke the rubber when I put it on inside out.

I was drunk so don't rag me about it.

anyway, I reached under my bed to get another one and it was the last ------- one.

I told the chic to hold on and I went out to my shop and got some jb weld. I started putting it on the cracked spot and she was like "WTF are you doing?" I told her i was out of condoms and I was patching it up.

the next thing I know she was putting her clothes back on. I told her "so i guess we're not scrumpin" and she obviously said no

anyway I said your at least going to SNOFF! right?

she's like WTF is SNOFF

I said

SUCK A NI99A OFF! BITCH!

anyway she left pissed off as all hell.

i'm headed back out to the club now to get another chic and some more condoms.

If I get pissed at the next one I'm breaking out the JB weld condom!

Re: I almost got laid tonight
 

This is ------- pointless. I hate these threads about almost knocking ppl out, almost getting laid, almost almost alsmot. Talk to me when you get laid, knock someone out. Or combine the two.

Re: I almost got laid tonight
 

You can stop already. Everyone thinks your cool. :1

Re: I almost got laid tonight
 

stfu kthx

Re: I almost got laid tonight
 

Donkey Punch FTMFW!!!!

Re: I almost got laid tonight
 

/Fixed. :y

Re: I almost got laid tonight
 

obviosuly false

Re: I almost got laid tonight
 

Everything he writes is...

Are you just trying to get acceptance? You ------- homo

Re: I almost got laid tonight
 

ur my hero.... not if you were a real man ud ---- her with no rubber and pull out.. faggot.

Re: I almost got laid tonight
 

Takes one to know one

Re: I almost got laid tonight
 

Is this how you got herpes? :(

Re: I almost got laid tonight
 

you've only had sex with men, how would you know

Re: I almost got laid tonight
 

i also drive a 8 second civic... ::)

Re: I almost got laid tonight
 

Hey, for once you used the rolling eyes smiley correctly.

Faggot

Re: I almost got laid tonight
 

I had sex with my wife tonight, it was great knowing I'm not getting an STD.

Re: I almost got laid tonight
 

what makes you so sure about that :P

i can wait too see the next bullshit story this retard thinks up, first he ---- on a girls bed because she didnt like hondas, now he claims he tried to jbweld a condom. great stories retard, they would be funnier if they were true.

Re: I almost got laid tonight
 

__________________
Best Car Insurance | Auto Protection Today | FREE Trade-In Quote

Re: I almost got laid tonight
 

Didn't you just have 20 posts like..... yesterday? Jeez, N00B AND a post------. You keep ------- hoez wit no condoms big guy, and you'll end up like hotrex. Last peice of ass he got was when his finger went through the toilet paper.

Re: I almost got laid tonight
 

If you were a real hmt nig nog you would know it takes at least 12 hours to put a jb welded piece to work. Sooo you would have to wait 12 hours and probably 24 hours just to be safe. You want it to be cured 100% if you were going to use it as a contraceptive.

Attachment 31221

Re: I almost got laid tonight
 

You sir are a Anel ------- non ----- gitting jackass

Re: I almost got laid tonight
 

nigga tell the story if it happened....


i almost won the super bowl, but.........


<=====3 that's a 90s online penis for your butt

happy thanksgiving

Re: I almost got laid tonight
 

I almost read this whole thread

Re: I almost got laid tonight
 

Well you SHOULD have read the date you ------ moolie.

Re: I almost got laid tonight
 

Re: I almost got laid tonight
 

:y

Re: I almost got laid tonight
 

and u sir are a retard :1

Re: I almost got laid tonight
 

i think your still typing this drunk, jd weld?? on your condom? teabag that hoe and tell her a different name, something like a friends.

Re: I almost got laid tonight
 

Come to ashEVILle, I'll introduce you to Asshat. It should be a good fistfight.

Re: I almost got laid tonight
 

but you've never seen me fight ??? lol...go read my post in that other thread

Re: I almost got laid tonight
 

You're all ------- retards if you dont know his posts are exagerated light hearted bullshit ment with no seriousness what so ever.

Re: I almost got laid tonight
 

then he shouldnt post :1

Re: I almost got laid tonight
 

One of you is much bigger than the other. :7

Re: I almost got laid tonight
 

how big is he?

Re: I almost got laid tonight
 

A gentleman never tells. :)

Re: I almost got laid tonight
 

lol ok well i'll be comming to see u very soon...and josh is comming with me (josh is a very small guy lol)

Re: I almost got laid tonight
 

you shouldn't post.

Re: I almost got laid tonight
 

we know this...it's just to be funny...he gets bored at work so he makes up ----...like other people on this forum post anything better...

Re: I almost got laid tonight
 

yea me and scottsi argue with each other because we just make it up too, we are bored so anyone who reads it please know this, jesus get a ------- life.

Re: I almost got laid tonight
 

Are you posting again? You're not allowed to post anymore.

Re: I almost got laid tonight
 

oopsi :1