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How to make an introductory post aka a n00b post the HMT way.
You only have one shot at impressing anyone here, don't ---- it up. Follow these instructions carefully:
1) Make an intro aka n00b post. It should consist of: - Basic info about yourself. If this info exceeds 20 words, start over. You are not that interesting. If you disagree you'd best have tits, -----, and a webcam to convince us. - Pictures of your car. Include a little information about your ride. Do not tell us about stereos, tuenar rimz, aftermarket plug wires or MSD ignition systems that don't do anything, bodykits, or how you painted the car a neon color so you could get assrammed by gay men. Under no circumstances use the term "JDM." None of these things matter, to us or anyone who has a fast car. - Post porn. Porn should comprise at least 50% of your n00b post. If you think you have failled in any of the above criteria, or you understand exactly how worthless you are to the average HMTer, then you can save your skin by posting more porn. - Fresh porn content is a must. We have all seen Raven Reilly. Porn you have made yourself is guaranteed to be fresh. Drag home strange girls every week and make them get freaky for the camera. Getting random women to pose naked or in underwear with "HMT" written on them in Magic Marker is a sure fire way to let people know you're serious about turbochargers. Is your mom a MILF, or your sister hot? - In fact, don't ever stop posting porn. Start a "{your name here}'s Porn Thread" thread in the Porn/Fab forum and update it every so often. 2) Use the search function before you ask any questions. Caveats and rules of thumb for making threads: - If you've searched, and have the slightest suspicion that your question is less than worthy, posting porn along with the question can save you. - Make sure you title the post "NSFW" when you post porn. Pissing off an admin who's surfing HMT at work is a good way to undo any good will you've done by posting the porn. 3) Some people are going to be rude to you for your first year, and/or first few hundred posts. This is normal. Advice on how to deal with this: - Do not lose your temper; while it is acceptable to be rude back, no one wants to listen to emo whiny-whiny bullshit. - You are encouraged to not be rude back unless you can do a very good job with it. - We like to see major ownage; e-stalking of myspace or photobucket accounts leaning to derogatory photoshopping/mspainting of HMTers or their loved ones, and for god's sake keep it fresh - no one wants to hear a plain jane "---- you!," you are performing for an audience so you better have some damn good lines. 4) After your first year and/or first few hundred posts, you find that a large number of people are still rude to you. You find that this does not bother you in the slightest, and in fact you like it a lot. Welcome home, brother! |
Re: How to make an introductory post aka a n00b post the HMT way.
sticky?
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Re: How to make an introductory post aka a n00b post the HMT way.
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Re: How to make an introductory post aka a n00b post the HMT way.
sticky worthy
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Re: How to make an introductory post aka a n00b post the HMT way.
sticky hell, that ---- right there should be chiseled in stone
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Re: How to make an introductory post aka a n00b post the HMT way.
I love posting gay porn
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Re: How to make an introductory post aka a n00b post the HMT way.
Stickies don't do ---- anymore. Retards miss them. :3
Make some mini-video of this, then have a quiz on what was just explained during registration. |
Re: How to make an introductory post aka a n00b post the HMT way.
jd you make baby jesus cry
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Re: How to make an introductory post aka a n00b post the HMT way.
scottsi you dumb asian for realz, you used the wrong picture for INCEST. Thats my gf, other pic is my cousin.
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Re: How to make an introductory post aka a n00b post the HMT way.
Originally Posted by SinisterCRX
Thats my gf
:P :-* |
Re: How to make an introductory post aka a n00b post the HMT way.
ms paints make me smile. see how youre grabbing her titty? that took like 5 minutes
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Re: How to make an introductory post aka a n00b post the HMT way.
Originally Posted by d112crzy
whoa! when did this happen? :S
:P :-* the hand took 5 minutes? :l you need to spend more time in mspaint bro |
Re: How to make an introductory post aka a n00b post the HMT way.
Make this appear when the register as a part of the application.Also noobs a good solid burnout vid is always a worthy contribution to any thread.
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Re: How to make an introductory post aka a n00b post the HMT way.
Hey, JD came through with a worthwhile post. Mega dittos fuckshit.
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Re: How to make an introductory post aka a n00b post the HMT way.
thats good stuff JD.
the only thing i feel needs to be added is that the porn they post must be pictures, not a link to some shitty "free daily porn" website. i think this needs to be clearly written in bold and italic. |
Re: How to make an introductory post aka a n00b post the HMT way.
Originally Posted by Joseph Davis
You only have one shot at impressing anyone here, don't ---- it up. Follow these instructions carefully:
1) Make an intro aka n00b post. It should consist of: - Basic info about yourself. If this info exceeds 20 words, start over. You are not that interesting. If you disagree you'd best have tits, -----, and a webcam to convince us. - Pictures of your car. Include a little information about your ride. Do not tell us about stereos, tuenar rimz, aftermarket plug wires or MSD ignition systems that don't do anything, bodykits, or how you painted the car a neon color so you could get assrammed by gay men. Under no circumstances use the term "JDM." None of these things matter, to us or anyone who has a fast car. - Post porn. Porn should comprise at least 50% of your n00b post. If you think you have failled in any of the above criteria, or you understand exactly how worthless you are to the average HMTer, then you can save your skin by posting more porn. - Fresh porn content is a must. We have all seen Raven Reilly. Porn you have made yourself is guaranteed to be fresh. Drag home strange girls every week and make them get freaky for the camera. Getting random women to pose naked or in underwear with "HMT" written on them in Magic Marker is a sure fire way to let people know you're serious about turbochargers. Is your mom a MILF, or your sister hot? - In fact, don't ever stop posting porn. Start a "{your name here}'s Porn Thread" thread in the Porn/Fab forum and update it every so often. 2) Use the search function before you ask any questions. Caveats and rules of thumb for making threads: - If you've searched, and have the slightest suspicion that your question is less than worthy, posting porn along with the question can save you. - Make sure you title the post "NSFW" when you post porn. Pissing off an admin who's surfing HMT at work is a good way to undo any good will you've done by posting the porn. 3) Some people are going to be rude to you for your first year, and/or first few hundred posts. This is normal. Advice on how to deal with this: - Do not lose your temper; while it is acceptable to be rude back, no one wants to listen to emo whiny-whiny bullshit. - You are encouraged to not be rude back unless you can do a very good job with it. - We like to see major ownage; e-stalking of myspace or photobucket accounts leaning to derogatory photoshopping/mspainting of HMTers or their loved ones, and for god's sake keep it fresh - no one wants to hear a plain jane "---- you!," you are performing for an audience so you better have some damn good lines. 4) After your first year and/or first few hundred posts, you find that a large number of people are still rude to you. You find that this does not bother you in the slightest, and in fact you like it a lot. Welcome home, brother! |
Re: How to make an introductory post aka a n00b post the HMT way.
Or on second thought. As a first post, get to the point. No one cares who you are. Think about it. Why do you want to impress some retards on the internet?
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Re: How to make an introductory post aka a n00b post the HMT way.
Originally Posted by CSaddict
Or on second thought. As a first post, get to the point. No one cares who you are. Think about it. Why do you want to impress some retards on the internet?
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Re: How to make an introductory post aka a n00b post the HMT way.
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Re: How to make an introductory post aka a n00b post the HMT way.
^ That was uber weak, fatty.
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Re: How to make an introductory post aka a n00b post the HMT way.
Originally Posted by SinisterCRX
^ That was uber weak, fatty.
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Re: How to make an introductory post aka a n00b post the HMT way.
bump for relevance.
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Re: How to make an introductory post aka a n00b post the HMT way.
1 Attachment(s)
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Re: How to make an introductory post aka a n00b post the HMT way.
That's nice.
I added a poll to the thread to spice it up, so do your duty and vote. |
Re: How to make an introductory post aka a n00b post the HMT way.
All of HMT is eclipsed by your e-penis.
Sticky the ----. :y |
Re: How to make an introductory post aka a n00b post the HMT way.
Originally Posted by ichbinsobose
yawn
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Re: How to make an introductory post aka a n00b post the HMT way.
Tough-guy>me
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Re: How to make an introductory post aka a n00b post the HMT way.
i had to vote that they were both gayer than each other cause it seems they are equally as gay.
this needs to be a sticky though. And JD's e-penis is only huge to noobs. anyone that has been here a while knows it is perfect for us |
Re: How to make an introductory post aka a n00b post the HMT way.
Originally Posted by PhilStubbs
i had to vote that they were both gayer than each other cause it seems they are equally as gay.
this needs to be a sticky though. And JD's e-penis is only huge to noobs. anyone that has been here a while knows it is perfect for us The e-penis is perfect for you? :l Wow,tha's all. |
Re: How to make an introductory post aka a n00b post the HMT way.
:-X
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Re: How to make an introductory post aka a n00b post the HMT way.
dunno how I missed this thread, not sure who one2many is either so I voted toughguy since it's highly doubtful anyone supercedes in in gayness.
Would be a good sticky although I would title it something different notifying noobs of their imminent doom if they don't read and abide by it, as well as a mention in their introductory post that they have knowledge of this thread, and thus no excuse for failing. |
Re: How to make an introductory post aka a n00b post the HMT way.
Originally Posted by TorganFM
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Re: How to make an introductory post aka a n00b post the HMT way.
That bitch second from the right is an uber dyke.
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Re: How to make an introductory post aka a n00b post the HMT way.
No the glowing from the fake-tan ---- on the chicks face has permanently melted the dikes face making her uglystick beating look more like an ugly limb beating. :-\
And then the chick on the far left, looks like a squirrel just bit her minge. |
Re: How to make an introductory post aka a n00b post the HMT way.
Originally Posted by Jorsher
dunno how I missed this thread, not sure who one2many is either so I voted toughguy since it's highly doubtful anyone supercedes in in gayness.
Would be a good sticky although I would title it something different notifying noobs of their imminent doom if they don't read and abide by it, as well as a mention in their introductory post that they have knowledge of this thread, and thus no excuse for failing.
Originally Posted by klyph
That bitch second from the right is an uber dyke.
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Re: How to make an introductory post aka a n00b post the HMT way.
Originally Posted by Tough-guy
Okay, then what's your excuse for failing? ::)
What make you say that? I just would have pegged her for an over spay-on tan daddy's girl. :S |
Re: How to make an introductory post aka a n00b post the HMT way.
Originally Posted by klyph
That bitch second from the right is an uber dyke.
Originally Posted by T0DA
Not the golden retriever, the thing (not even sure if that counts as a dike) beside her
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Re: How to make an introductory post aka a n00b post the HMT way.
I'm talkin about the she-man in the Von dutch shirt. Thanks for ruining the joke, dumbasses.
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Re: How to make an introductory post aka a n00b post the HMT way.
That was my first impression.
But my only question now is what innocent 4 year old did that mother fucker get that nose from. :S EDIT: klyph, we're all on the same page. 8) |
Re: How to make an introductory post aka a n00b post the HMT way.
Originally Posted by ichbinsobose
yawn
JDSAP |
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