2GeclipseRST

+ randon drug test = worse of than i would be without smoking it.

I need my job, otherwise it would be all day, every day, each way, the right way, high.....

I came really close yesterday after some bs but then i thought about being there for my daughter's first step, first tooth, first word, first day of school........ As it's looking now, i might not even be there for that the way my gf and her racist *** friends and family constantly bash me because they dont see the girl i see when they aren't around..... W/e. I'm telling her to pack her ---- and leave when she gets home and i'll tell her to call me when she figures out a court date. I'm not paying her a ------- dime unless i have a court order saying i have to or else.

No, i dont want to off myself because of a girl. ----- is the absolute dumbest thing one could die over. However, sometimes i do feel like my daughter would have a better life if she was led to believe she was better off without me in it. I seriously think people are liars if they say they haven't considered suicide atleast once, not for one person or one reason but just because their life is their own living hell.

*FTR, i love my mazdas and the rotary crowd is filled with some of the nicest people i've met or dealt with.*


Edit, i've probably been like this since the age of 15. I started smoking weed and the ---- went away. I quit for whatever reason and it comes back. I'm 23 now. I mean, maybe i am being a bitch. I dunno. I was raised to be a better person and help others less fortunate than myself and my values differ from those who like to rain on my ---- and hate. I also love the fact people look at me like i'm just like them. A lying, cheating, dirty scavenger who will throw you to the wolves just to save myself. That ------- burns me up.

Skittersk8ter, where i work, racist ---- like that will get people shitcanned fast. Harrassment free workplace. Isn't it great when the quality of your work is overshadowed by your ability to fit in and the quality of your ****? Bullshit, is what it is. I should be able to smoke a ------- joint if i want to, as long as i show up to work and do my ------- job better than most of my co-workers.

1slow91

soundsl ike you suffer from the same condition that i was told i had about 15 years ago
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicidal_ideation
it can be worked on and slightly treated with meds but it will never truly go away
you just need to learn to understand and be able to control it as best you can
if nothing else you might get doped up good
300mg welbutrin xl
150mg ambien
200mg seroquin--spelling owns

crxtuner

I guess this ---- is pretty normal for anyone to think of, i had fucked up ---- go through my head when i was younger but i got past it. My ex girlfriends mom tried to "Commit suicide"
by taking half a box of cold medicine, didn't work, i figure if she was serious and just didn't want attention then she would have done the whole thing+ whatever else she could find.
Keep your head up, winter sucks, save some cash, work your *** off, start a business and go to church!

MikeJ-2009

My final conclusion is if you have kids to take care of, you could be the most worthy suicidal guy out there, and it's still selfish. Get a fucken grip.

bitchM0VE

imburne

The spirit, focus on your spirit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSQZYypijxc

buk9tp

---- yes. some of those thick *** zip ties are almost un breakable.. come up behind someone arround there neck and ------- pull it shut.. even if they manage to get there hands under the first zip tie.. pull out a second one quickly and go just above the first one.. ------- DONE.

no screams no loud noises.. and you can do it and walk away without seeing the person suffer and im sure in my own mine i can go to sleep at night just fine pretending that they broke away from the zip tie just fine and are at home with there kids..

but meh i couldnt kill someone who doesnt deserve it

con

:P

buk9tp

dont forget 72 virgins

IntaCooler

Infernosoul walked down that road and he's gone now, if you got friends and family to support you there is no reason to end yourself