almost a dad.... Now, officially a dad
 

k so ive been at the hospital now since 7pm on monday since they decided to induce. still no baby, this is some scary ----! on my cell to post this.

Re: almost a dad....
 

Good luck man!
I have a 2 year old and a little girl on the way! It will be worth it, Trust me.

Re: almost a dad....
 

never seen the wife in this much pain and she has a deathgrip on my hand!

Re: almost a dad....
 

just be glad she doesnt have a deathgrip on your nuts yelling at you for doing that to her

Re: almost a dad....
 

7pm to your original post is still about 4 hours= not long. Tell her to butch up and get the epideral (sp!) and then take pics of the baby coming out of the cooch. During my two kids I wouldn't look because I still wanted to have sex with it later, but yours is already used up.


No really, congrats. It's not mine. Don't ask me for money. :-X

Re: almost a dad....
 

---- my wife had 2 c-sections and thats some wack ---- like alien ---- for real ..oh and congrats man youll love it when they can run around and talk ---- and break your stuff..

Re: almost a dad....
 

Words cannot express when you see your first child. God bless you and your family.

Re: almost a dad....
 

Congrats!

Re: almost a dad....
 

Congrats man. I remember whenever my boy was born. Kinda a freak show thing to watch once its over and you think about what happened whenever its over but it's still an awesome feeling when you hold your new born in your arms for the first time.

Re: almost a dad....
 

not to scare you but i remeber when i had my daughter i had bad anxiety attacks for like the first 6 weeks she was home every time i hear her cry it made me want to vomit and couldnt breath :-X and i had no clue why i had been around babies my whole life cause my sisters a ----- and would ditch her son on me and my mom all the time..

Re: almost a dad....
 

Hearing your own kid Cry sucks! Mine is 10 weeks old, today. Little secret, a dab of karo syrup on the psaifier is your lifeline! Makes people think your kid never cries. Lol!

Re: almost a dad....
 

the wife wants to have kids now, but I'm scared shitless...

Re: almost a dad....
 

I know you aren't a kid yourself, but I'd wait until she was in her reeeeeeal late 20s. Nobody can look good forever, but you should milk her while she does. :P

Also, after one consider the Stevemode method of planned parenthood - the bitch can't be trusted, get a vasectomy.

Re: almost a dad....
 

Congrats bro...



Just be glad your wife isnt birthing me......... My mom was in labour for 38 hours with me :6

Re: almost a dad....
 

word on that, our son is 4weeks old, he loves the rice cereal that you mix in with formula too. He will chug it down and pass out for atleast a few hours from being full. dark karo syrup in the formula works well too.
oh, and get this thing that is a big pillow that sagged in the middle for the baby to lay in. he wont sleep in anything else but that now.

Re: almost a dad....
 

She wants two kids before 30, if she got pregnant now the first kid would be at 26.

Re: almost a dad....
 

Start drilling that ---- hard at 28, then get fixed and act confused why the second kid doesn't pop out on schedule. It'll work out sweet, man, it's usually the second kid that permanently deforms her hips anyway.

Re: almost a dad....
 

actually what I have been doing is paying more attention to her cycle than she has so i am ------- the living ---- out of her every chance i get except for 3 days a month. I'm three months into this whole ordeal and it's going fine so far, but I'm pretty sure she's going to start paying attention if something doesn't happen soon. :(

Re: almost a dad....
 

Yup! That pillow is called a boppy pillow and its the greatest thing ever. Your wife can use it to feed, baby can sleep in it, you can use it to prop your arm, tons of uses! Get one if you don't already have one. You can get them at about any retailer. Target, walmart, etc

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Uh-oh, I just went upstairs to snag the batteries out of the woman's vibrator because my remote for the tv is dead and I found a little piece of paper where she has started tracking her cycle now. Looks like I'm going to be in trouble pretty soon.

Re: almost a dad....
 

OK, here's some tips on how to reduce sperm count for you my man:

1) fap at least four times a day.
2) wear tighty-whities, they keep your nuts too warm and what sperm you have are less potent. Also, join a gym and hit the hot tub/sauna, better yet install a hot tub at the house. Tell the wife it's to "create the mood" and you can "lounge together and be intimate" while pursuing the kid thing.
3) pot, cocaine, and cigarettes are your friends. I know you're a third of the way with me on this already.
4) reduce your intake of vitamin C, selenium, zinc, and folate.
5) stress. You are already stressing, don't worry you've got this one covered.
6) heavy metals (eat paint chips for the lead content), estrogenic pesticides (DDT, yay!!!), and toluene/benzene/xylene - breathe deeply every time you pump gas, service your fuel filters often.

:P

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Man you're golden then, just start 'tweaking' the note that she keeps in her drawer so the day's she thinks she needs to slam you're safe for launch

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Haha, need to be stickied ;D

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thought the same ---- hahah

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So, mister make a thread then never update it, is everything okay with you and the missus? ;)

Re: almost a dad....
 

To add to your list, JD. It's recommended to use a laptop whenever on the PC, as the heat has shown a decrease in sperm count.

There needs to be some sort of heated nut-glove to keep the count down.

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lol, yeah im getting notorious for starting threads and not updating...

As of 1/14 @1:14AM I officially became a father. The whole delivery process is a ------ trip. Me and the mother in law were in the room which was a lil creepy. I also got to cut the cord. The only god damn mistake i made was seeing the afterbirth come out.... mother fucker!

Baby had to be induced 2 weeks early due to Mrs. Stinky nuts having high blood pressure(pre eclampsia). Since she was early she ended up having a higher risk of jaundice since her liver wasn't up to speed. The lil one had to spend a night in the special care unit under a UV light. That was prob the hardest part of the the whole experience. Shes home now and every ones doing great. Only took 4 days off to work and basically my life is back on track w/ an addition. As far as my free time, its damn near gone now but wouldn't trade the it for the world. ;)

Kiana Elise...
http://www.pix8.net/pro/pic.php?u=9094tjgcZ&i=1127736

Re: almost a dad.... Now, officially a dad
 

kee yawn a?

Re: almost a dad.... Now, officially a dad
 

Kiyana

kee - ana

or kee - anna

Re: almost a dad.... Now, officially a dad
 

kee - ana...

Re: almost a dad.... Now, officially a dad
 

Congrats.

Re: almost a dad.... Now, officially a dad
 

Congrats man! My brother will have his second this week or next week. Glad to see that everything (almost) goes well for your new family! :)

Good luck!

Re: almost a dad.... Now, officially a dad
 

------- awesome.

Re: almost a dad.... Now, officially a dad
 

boy, are you going to have trouble in about 15 years. Congrats to you and the misses

Re: almost a dad.... Now, officially a dad
 

Congratulations man! best of luck on raising your son, and hope your new family turns out great.

Re: almost a dad.... Now, officially a dad
 

stickynutz indeed!

cgts!

Re: almost a dad.... Now, officially a dad
 

are you black? no offense just curious on the name

Re: almost a dad.... Now, officially a dad
 

You are definitely not the coolest guy ever. :1 :1 :1

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------- awesome. jan 14 is my bday also.

Re: almost a dad.... Now, officially a dad
 

Dude, it's a girls!