could someone please explain what each fitting is for. i know one set is for water and one is for the oil but i cant tell which. also what pressure does the wastegate open at.

the codes on the charger are TD04.09 A
it also has 18M on the exhaust side

 

your oil ports will be dark (blackish color) one smaller port for in and larger one for out. and the coolant lines usually have a bit of rust on them and are the same size. im not to sure about wastegate setting, but arent dsm's like 11psi? someone correct me. check the post on junkyard turbo wastegate pressures.