Special FX

So this one time I was at Western and I needed to ----. There were no apparent safety zones until I thought of the top floor of the reserves in the library. By the time I got out of class it had become imperative that I ---- as soon as possible. It was gonna be loud and fierce, I could tell. When I got to the *******, people were waiting for an elevator to come up from the bottom floor of a seven-story building. The elevator was right across from the can so I gave them ample time to leave before I got ready to explode. There was a ding and they were gone. But a new evil had arrived. Someone grabbed the door handle (there was only one handle as this was a one-holer) and shook it something crazy. I had interrupted someone else's plan for a safe haven dump. I tried everything but they wouldn't leave. Over fifteen minutes went by of trynig to slowly work out a turd and cover up the powerful escapees. Eventually, I let go. I rumbled that ------- building seven ways from Sunday. When I opened the bathroom door and saw that sonofabitch standing there, I gave him the look of murder. I tried to act sick so he could easily ignore what had happened, but he wouldn't. He said something like "Jesus ------- Christ, man!! What the hell..." and I left. Karma will dish him up some evil one of these days, man.

shaved_civic

I remeber a while back. I was at some stupid store, and out of no where i had to ---- more then ever. so i goto the bathroom and no one was in there so i just layed it all down! went to get toilet paper and there was none!! so i run our really quick for some paper towels, and theres NONE! so thinking quickly and panicking at the same time i saw a poster on the wall. And thats what i had to use that was a horrible time.

Dr.Boost

OMG!! Those were two of the funniest stories I have ever heard!! Hahahaha!!
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tranceminister

Hahahaha, all week I've been reading some of these stories you guy's posted and it busts me up every time!!

BLUEHATCH

Well, ---- check this out. This happened at the TEXACO gas station on 320th st kind of going down into Peasly canyon in Federal Way couple of years ago. This was pretty imbarrasing by the way... One day i am driving around and all of a sudden I had to take a ---- of my life , so i rushed to a nearest gas station, ran into the bathroom locked the door behind and just let loose , and i am telling you that was some BAD diarrhea, and half way through some dude started to bang on the door, so i replyed leting him know that the bathroom was occupied. Even though the fan was on the stench was so bad that i thought i should wait a minute before i came out, maybe that person would get tierd of waiting and would leave so a minute later i came out and this black dude is standing out there waiting to do his thing, and the stench was still bad so i practicaly ran out the gas station to avoid the imbarasement, and i just bounced.
(It stunk so bad that i bet after that day that black dude would never think the same about white people) HA HA

d16forlife

I have a simmilar storry to shaved civics.

This was like 8 years ago back when my brother and I were wiring Track Homes.There was this guy that was a ------- dick(allways blameing his mistakes on others).This guy would allways hit the port-o-pottie like clock work at 10.So one day my brother pulld the T.P out just before this guy ran in.It was durring Calli. winter(65 degrees)and he was wearing a sweater when he ran in.When he came out He was missing half a sleve.Hahahah!That was some funny ----.Looked like he had gotten mauled by a lion.

JHill

That was my place of peace at Western too! What a crackup, that was like 15 years ago.

typert

just to add one to the mix ....as it were - I know it's long but worth it..if you are sick like i am

I couldn't paste it(too long!) so go here to read it

http://shtick.org/Misc/ryans.htm

INDUCTION_HEAD

Well i got a good one.
last summer i was doing some painting on a commercial building with a crew of 8. The contractor had not rented porta johns for us, and we had no place to go, soooo..... one of the guys had to doo doo in one of the gallon cans, hammered the lid on and put it in back of the van. Did i mention it was over 100 degrees. lol and we all know what hot doo doo does. haha well it took about 2 hrs but it exploded blowin crap all over his van on the way home... haha serves him right for not rentin us a port a john!!

catch.can

wow this thead brings back memories!