labatt50

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...
===============
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still
on my desk... sorry....
===============
Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the
screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
===============
Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill
Gates, dammit!
===============
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I
try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and
placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't
find it...
===============
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
===============
Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
===============
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another
keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...
===============
Tech support: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital
letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
===============
Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
===============
Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
===============
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on
my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
===============
Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get
the circle around it?
===============
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her
printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point.
The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his
printer is working fine."
===============
And last but not least...
Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the
same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now
type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!

TimeEater

thats funny

fork

I wonder how many are real. But I wouldn't doubt any of them. I used to work at circuit city and during a training they were telling us to make sure customers have some understanding of what they are buying and they play us an actual tech call and it goes like

cust: I can't make the arrow get to the start button, the mouse is all the way on the left of the mouse pad but the arrow is still in the middle

signorelli21

dude that ---- is sooo, true. i do desktop support for sprint and you would not believe the retarded ---- that people say. one time this lady called because she was unable to "get to anything" i was like ok, whats your ip address? after telling her how to find it she was like, " uh, i don't know, i can't see anything on the screen' i was like wtf? what do you mean you can't see anything? whats on your desktop? "mmmm,nothing, its blank"

ok, are you sure your monitor is turned on?
"yes"
and is it plugged into the computer?
"i can't tell , do you want me to wait for the power to come back on so i can look behind my computer? all of the lights are out and its really hard to see back there"

so the power is out and your wondering why your computer isn't working?
"do you want me to call back?"



I ---- YOU NOT!!!!
that was yesterday.

crx2fast

hahaha good ----

dragon

haha i thought that was funny

HondaTuner

(she was having a problem with cookies...)

SinisterCRX: what browser are you using
Customer: juno
SinisterCRX: thats not a browser
Customer: well then idk
SinisterCRX: open up internet explorer (assuming this is what she was using of course)
Customer: this is going to sound retarted.. but where is it if it's not on my desktop
SinisterCRX: click on start, it will be under programs
SinisterCRX: here ill make it easy for ya
SinisterCRX: click here to start internet explorer
Customer: it started google
SinisterCRX: well yeah
SinisterCRX: but thats internet explorer
Customer: oo ok
Customer: now what
SinisterCRX: click on tools and go to internet options
Customer: i could have done this from my desktop





Sometimes I hate helping people with their computer problems.

The worst was this woman who had a win 95 486 computer she got for free, and she was getting pissed off because I told her it wasn't worth it to try to upgrade that machine... but she wanted to install her printer, and I asked to use her restroom, and for her to just insert the disk into the drive (floppy disk)... I hear BANG BANG BANG when im leaving the restroom, and she's out there with the CD-ROM try open, with the floppy disk in it, and they're both destroyed... and she goes "It wouldn't go in" And I explain to her that the slot BELOW that was the floppy... ohhh okay...

bitch didnt even give me the full $20 for the hour I was there, then she hires this dumbass that doesn't know the difference between FAT32 and NTFS, or even between the Linux programs "they're all the same..." he ended up coming to their house after me because they werent satisfied with me.. and well, he blew up their computer somehow. I think he removed the heatsink from the processor. Teaches them...

samson

LOL. I DO wonder if those are all true. LOL. Good stuff Frog. Got any more?


JP

crxrx7

I wouldn't have any doubt that those are al true. There are retarded people out there. One of my friends used to work at best buy and he told me some funny *** storys about some of the people that would come in with common sense problems. And you would think that the lady with the floppy disk in the cd-rom drive had never played with the box that you put the wooden blocks into when she was a kid.

tukinnam

this happened to me 2 days ago:


me: Ok, your modem is working fine now and you should be able to connect to the internet. (double clicks on Internet Explorer, website comes on) OK? there you go.
her: (with modem driver CD-ROM in hand) Now, do I need to put this in?
me: Only if your modem was having problems, which it doesnt. As you can see, you can now connect to the Internet.
her: So I dont need this CD to access the internet?
me: (blank face, thinking "I know I've read this somewhere")
her: Isn't the Internet in this CD?


I never thought It would happen to me.