mattnteclipse

Got really hammered and went to a strip club. was right next to the isle up to the stage and every ------- in the place felt the need to bump into me. SO me and mister sharpie left our mark on every $50+ pair of jeans that hit me. The really cool part was when the stripper was drunk and flew the ---- off the pole onto the stage. strip clubs suck in nc.

hotrex

i got head from a 57 yr old drunk lady when i was 17... end of story.

SkunT

I have a story similar to this....
i was comming out of town the other day, im goin down the highway...this MX6 comes up to me...kinda doing the same thing. goin past me, then slowing down...he had an exhaust, some other mods, his car didnt sound that bad... he heard my turbo, i thought maybe he might have some nawz...something (maybe he had a sleeper like i do) so i kinda get in front of him, we slow down to about 45-50, he beeps 3 times, i didnt even get out of 5th gear. (yes a 5th gear pull) it was pretty even, then at about 80 i start pulling away. then it was over...
then the ****** at the next light says "i thought i was gonna take your turbo civic" i was like, yeah, i never even got out of 5th gear. LOL. he just rolled up his window.

abakedpotato

this one chick at school i was banging was a senior (i was a sophmore) and 3 years older than me so i was pretty happy. so when i was poundin the pud she kept pulling me in close. it sucked and she eventually asked me what was wrong since it was gettin soft.....bored out of my mind. i picked her up and threw her on the chair doggy and she started crying saying that she doesn't like this. well i felt terrible...for some strange reason and just let it go. well we were hanging out for like 3 weeks and she just stopped calling.
later found out that she got engaged to some boner at the school she was student teaching at. The dudes girl found out and told the school. he got fired and the last i heard they moved to baltimore.......

good thing the sex was bad, she was crazy....

ekb20z

A few years back a bunch of my buddies and I decided to attend a out of town carshow. So we all meet up the night before cause we are planning to leave first thing in the morning. So about 8 of us with cars that are going to the show meet up and one of my buddies calls me up and says that he wants to come and asks if one of the waitresses from his work and her twin sister can come also , I reply ---- ya , so a couple of hrs later we are all together and we decide to go to the bar , well these girls were not the best looking but meh decent at best. I plan to not drink cause I would be driving so we are at the bar I am kinda avoiding the girls cause I know that my buddies are going to ditch them onme ( hahaha long story why ) so by the end of teh night it is me the 2 girls and a guy that I wa strying so hard to avoid as well cause he is a tool so we end up back at my condo ( like i said I drew the lucky card . ) so I am back at home fridge full of beer and a 24 of cheap tequilla . So its 3 inthe morning we are drinking watching motor cycle vids and the anticts start I leave the room to go to the washroom and when I come back I am staring at the one girl with her leg behind her head looking the other way and the other 2 laughing caudse she doesnt know that I am seeing the whole thing . Let me paint a picture for you little black mini skirt tiny pink panties . It turns out I missed a part of the drinking game and she lost . so any how I am getting kinda hammed and in the kitchen asking who wants tequilla shots , of course little miss pink panties comes running in so I pour and she say that she is going to do the shot off me , Im like alright , she gets down on her knees undoes my jeans pulls my boxers to crotch level and decides to put the shot there . So I say thats nice where are the lime and the salt going she smiles puts the lime in my mouth calls her sister into the kitchen her sis holds my arms behind me tilts me backwards she licks my crotch area puts the salt on grabs my *** licks the salt for a while 10-15 sec tehn downs the tequilla drags herself up my body and sucks the lime out of my mouth . Im shocked at this point and hammered , haha , so I have to atleast match or out do her , so I ask " so where do you want this , she says any where , so with the assisstance of her sis again holding her arms back , I pull her shirt and most of her bra open exposing at least have of her ****, stuff the shot there , lift up her skirt and tuck the lime into her panties lick both **** , salt, lick them off down the shooter and go down town for the lime , she apparently liked it . so they head back to the living room my buddie is beaking of some retarded story about something im not listening he was trying to be sauve . I am cleaning up the mess that we made in the kitchen grab another shot and grab a everyone beer from the fridge and sit down at the opposite end of the sectional couch as teh girl ( hahha sorry I cant remember her name ) se we are bull shitting away and she gets up and comes over to my side . I am leaning against the arm of teh sofa and she is trying to wiggle her *** between the arm of the couch and me , an I say to what are you doing , she says trying to sit with you , i tell her to sit on the other side of me and she says no . so I say here how about this I bend over grab her leg and throw it over my head and she falls behind me , well she really liked that to . she starts grinding her crouch into my back and I am kinda embaresed cause she is being a drunk ----- and her sis is right there shaken her head . well all of a sudden she stops and I look back and she is just sitting there so I ask wasssup and she says , what was your name again, everyone starts howling and her sis just goes omg , i just asked her does it really mater and she says no. So anyways several more antics happen but to get to the best part of the story .
Sorry its so long but worth the read trust me !
So its almost 5am we have to be up at 7 to be at roll in at 9 , so I announce that im going to bed and asked her if she was staying on the couch ( haha ya right ) or comming with me . She imediatly jumps up , so we get into teh bedroom and imediatly she starts ---- , I am doing everything I can not to ---- her , she is obviously dirty and I have no rubbers , so it getting to crunch time I take matters into my own hands , Im on my knees holding her down ( haha I had just watched a wicked porno the night before so this where this came from ) I tell her where do you want it **** or face she all moanin and ---- **** ohhh face so the **** are closer unload there and I had soem reserves apparently and blew the rest for the money shot. Well it turns out I have impecable aim and it went right up her cheek and gllued her eye closed it was beautifull , so she starts saying ohh you got it in my ------- eye , I actually said I dont care go tell your sis , I sat down pretty pumped aboutthe whole situation and she actually got up opened the door and was trying te be quiet to tell her sis what happened , I am like no way and jump up rip open the dooor flip th light on but *** naked she almost falls on th floor into the hall way bothe her sis and my friend are loking directly at us and I am screaming hahahahah I cant belive you actully did that , my buddy is howling she is sitting there stunned and her sis has the whole deer in the headlights look , man it was priceless, Definatly the funniest moment of my life. so like an hr l8r we are getting ready the alchohol is starting to where off Im feeling liek ---- , and we are at the car show after some good gigles when all my buddies showed up and teh twins were in tha bathroom , so hrs l8r we are at he car show and somebody mentions that her face was peeling well it turns out it wasnt her skin .

The following week I end up pounding her sis to her dismay , it ended up her slaming the door and a yelling match . her sis was much better as well

kain

that was really, long., and detailed. but worthless without pics.

FooK

once i had a fuckbuddy over for like 2 days, she left with a good 2 hours of spare time one day for some other chick to come over and get nailed. I went thru this period of nailing like a different girl every week for like 2 months after i broke up with some chick when i was like 21 or so.

that first chick in that story was awesome, if anyone in olympia knows katelyn with the big *****, send her back my way.