Mechanics Hall Of Shame...
 

A guy I work with got a 1995 Eclipse non-turbo that needed an engine. They use the same engine as a newer Neon, so he got one and had some "ASE-certified" mechanic put it in for him. Well, it ran okay but seemed rough. It had a little shake at idle, but all cylinders fired well. I told him, after minor ------- around with it, it seems out of balance. It was like the flywheel or something wasn't quite right. He was like "Oh, I bet I know why!". The guy used a Neon flywheel on the modular DSM flywheel (the clutches are slighly different dimensionally) and "the holes didn't line up quite right, so he drilled two or three of them out". I guess having and off-center pressure plate explains what looks like about a pound or so imbalance. I know somebody out there has an even better one than this...

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and this guy was certified?? :-[

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my brothers civic rusted a hole in the exhaust right after the header. i patched it by wrapping the hole in tin foil and then wrappin the tinfoil with a whole roll of electrical tape.....works like a charm

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DAMN I bet that thing is a black gooey mess...

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One time me and one of my friends were doing a clutch and flywheel in an old cavalier for some guy but he was paying us. We go it done in an afternoon and went to drive it and one of the tires was wobbling real bad. So were trying to figure out wtf happened and finally saw a pile of parts in the corner that we forgot to put back on including the bolts that held on the strut.

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that one is pretty good.

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Damn keep it coming, ive done some pretty stupid ----, but i dont really think i can beat any of that madness.
Funny though

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the second time i installed a y8 manifold i forgot to put the clamp on the fuel return. cranked the engine and smelled gas and then saw a puddle running out from under the car in less than 3 seconds. turned that b#tch off quick and quickly started moping it up with paper towels.

could of burned my sh#t up quick. when i was hooking it all up i told myself to make sure i clamped it and then someone distracted me and i forgot.

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had an exhaust pipe split at the weld and the one part was hitting my rear lower control arm, so i had a 8" aluminum speaker grill lying around, i bent it around a broomstick to make it circular and i stuck the 2 pipes back together with the speaker grill in the middle to hold them from coming apart.
now thats a ghetto fix, the exhaust still leaks but at least the pipes are in their place and not hitting my control arm.

BTW getting new exhaust system before i sell the car.

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ASE doesent mean ---- i beat a mexican like steve could get ASE certified ;)

Beau

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I used a couple pop cans and some hose clamps to fix a big hole in my exhaust. I also used a sock for a air filter. umm yeah I don't do stupid things.

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Took me 30 mins to find the battery in my MR2.

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I was changing my oil in an apartment complex across the street from campus First of all I just kind of let the oil drain onto the concrete secondly I had to piss real bad and i was in A hurry so before filling it back up I lowered the right side down off the jack and started filling it up I put in 3.25 quarts but it was no where near full so Im like what the ---- so I just kept dumping oil in till it was full then lowered the other side got in my car and started it up and it was smoking like a crack----- I was confused so I checked the dipstick and it was way overfilled. It was stupid the end

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The most recent one was when I put my new fuel gauge on my fuel rail. I drilled into the rail, tapped it and got the gauge to fit. Hooked everything back up but didnt seal the FPR correctly. Well i started the car without really looking for leaks like i normally do and i put my hand on the throttle and reved the car to see if the fuel pressure changed. All of a sudden my hand and the car are engulfed in flames! I ran and shut the car off, scrambled franticly having to go back to the faucet to get more water to put out the burning wires.

Literall the whole engine bay was on fire it was nuts. Nothing was really damaged except some wiring conduet crap... so i replaced that and all was well. End of stupid story

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I was replacing the flywheel in my RX-7 (stock are 30lbs) I couldnt get it to budge so I pryed on it from the bottom with a pry bar while laying under it and it poped right off and landed on my head. I still have a scar on my forhead of the teath for the starter.

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one time i pulled up to the gas station to check my tire pressure, well, i inflated all them to exactly 35 psi, but when i got home, i checked again, and one was at 36 psi, i must have made a mistake :o that was some crazy/scary ----, i thought my whole suspension was going to be fucked up, but it's still good, i just cross my fingers every day. nobody can beat that.

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One time I pulled into the gas station, and intended to fill my tank. I thought 20$ would cover it. Turned out I needed more, and when I pulled away I had WAY less then a full tank. I was like WTF ???

So I got out of my less then full of gas car and walked back two blocks and pimpslapped the gas attendant. Only it wasnt the attendant it was an old lady. Not just any old lady either, but it was Nancy Reagan.

So I was like, "WTF Reagon Bitch why you sell me short," and she was like,"WTF SpeedyJay, (cause she frequents HMT and knows my screenname) why you think Nancy Reagon work at Exxon."

So I just said no walked back and drove off

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yesterday my boss did a oil pan in an Xterra. and when he was done and went to check the oil he went to pull the oil dipstick tube and it was stuck haha. The pan pinched the stick between the block. Had to tear the entire thing apart. You have to take out the front diff and everything to get the pan out of those things, whats funny I offered to do it for him, oh well... I have tons of stories, I see ---- ups every day :-X

Today I was cutting rotors backwards with an on car lathe, haha. "Hey jeff why does that sound so funny" rofl.. ;D

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dip sticks on xterra's suck! that ------- wire ----, i can never get mine back in, and you have to take the ------- skid plate off to get the filter(unless you want a big mess) >:(

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Heres my hall of shame to remember... I was in a hurry to take a road trip in my crx.. was going on an hour drive or so. I start inspecting my car only to find out i have a ripped axle boot.
Solution:
The gum from my mouth to cover the rip.. I actually thought it would work
Haha