Maria replies to Julio
10-13-2004, 01:45 PM
#1
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 5
Maria replies to Julio
Hello HTM Forum Readers: (excuse me for the long letter, I just needed write it!)
First of all I wanted to say my user name is not_honda because I don't drive a honda , not that I don't like them - I just drive a different car...
Okay, last night Julio became excessively controlling - I was speaking with my sister who is going through a divorce (not a short story, let me tell u)...Julio kept asking me to hang up on her and finally snatched the phone away and hung up on her and would not give me the phone. I tried taking it away but he wouldn't budge - so finally when I did, I called the police , not to arrest him but to stop the situation from getting out of hand any further. He immidiately disconnected the phone plug and left the apartment. I proceeded to reconnecting the phone line when the phone rang - it was the police. I told them there was some verbal disagreements but he had left and wanted to cancel the police call, so they did. Minutes later, the police bangs on my door. Julio went to the police station to tell them that I had gone crazy and I threw a pillow at him. He wanted them to arrest me, I'm sure.
this brings me back to the last 2 times the cops came to my house. One time we were on our way to the grocery store, we had a disagreemnt on something and came back home - I stayed in the car to cool off - I too was upset. 15 minutes later when trying to go into the apartment - Julio locked me out of the apartment, I tried going in one door and then the other and he wouldn't let me in! He called the police saying I was harassing him and I would not go away. of course they didn't take anyone, and he left for a week or two I think.
The other time he called the police was when he got home late and he came home making so much noise - I told him to go sleep in the living room - He said "No" - I tried pushing him off the bed so that he would go to the living room, he called the cops on me and said I had kicked him off the bed!
We have known each other for almost 10 years - lived together for about 3yrs. Before living together- he had his share of fun as well as I. I was ready to settle down and move forward with our family and home. Every couple that we've talked with tells us that a marriage/union is not a joy ride but very, very difficult to maintain. I was willing to work with this - I knew it wouldn't be easy, I try and keep him happy, I feed him, I've been faithful, I work hard, take care of Mathias ( he is very smart let me tell you - and I'm damn proud of this!
), I finally went back to school, I think I've been a good companion for the most part - but I guess not good enough! I love him and I love Mathias more than anything in this world. I have never forced him to do anything he didn't want to - especially not now - if he is not ready to be a family man - he is free to fly away. He's still young, maybe he still wants to "experience life" the bachelor's way... he's free to do so. But I am not playing games here - I have my own life to live and my own goals to reach on top of that, "my little man to raise". I will not allow for him to waste my time or Mathias' - we will move forward!!!
If in 5 years Mathias ends up calling another man "daddy" it would be all his fault for not wanting to BE A REAL DADDY.
this is all I have to say - oh and one time he went to jail - I was 6 months pregnant with Mathias when "very, very bad things happened" - to not embarass my self or Julio - I will not mention them. Never in my life had I been treated that way and I knew I would never, ever let that happen again!
If Julio decides to not come back home - maybe it's the best for everyone. If he decides to come back home - we really need to work on the situation!
First of all I wanted to say my user name is not_honda because I don't drive a honda , not that I don't like them - I just drive a different car...
Okay, last night Julio became excessively controlling - I was speaking with my sister who is going through a divorce (not a short story, let me tell u)...Julio kept asking me to hang up on her and finally snatched the phone away and hung up on her and would not give me the phone. I tried taking it away but he wouldn't budge - so finally when I did, I called the police , not to arrest him but to stop the situation from getting out of hand any further. He immidiately disconnected the phone plug and left the apartment. I proceeded to reconnecting the phone line when the phone rang - it was the police. I told them there was some verbal disagreements but he had left and wanted to cancel the police call, so they did. Minutes later, the police bangs on my door. Julio went to the police station to tell them that I had gone crazy and I threw a pillow at him. He wanted them to arrest me, I'm sure.
this brings me back to the last 2 times the cops came to my house. One time we were on our way to the grocery store, we had a disagreemnt on something and came back home - I stayed in the car to cool off - I too was upset. 15 minutes later when trying to go into the apartment - Julio locked me out of the apartment, I tried going in one door and then the other and he wouldn't let me in! He called the police saying I was harassing him and I would not go away. of course they didn't take anyone, and he left for a week or two I think.
The other time he called the police was when he got home late and he came home making so much noise - I told him to go sleep in the living room - He said "No" - I tried pushing him off the bed so that he would go to the living room, he called the cops on me and said I had kicked him off the bed!
We have known each other for almost 10 years - lived together for about 3yrs. Before living together- he had his share of fun as well as I. I was ready to settle down and move forward with our family and home. Every couple that we've talked with tells us that a marriage/union is not a joy ride but very, very difficult to maintain. I was willing to work with this - I knew it wouldn't be easy, I try and keep him happy, I feed him, I've been faithful, I work hard, take care of Mathias ( he is very smart let me tell you - and I'm damn proud of this!
), I finally went back to school, I think I've been a good companion for the most part - but I guess not good enough! I love him and I love Mathias more than anything in this world. I have never forced him to do anything he didn't want to - especially not now - if he is not ready to be a family man - he is free to fly away. He's still young, maybe he still wants to "experience life" the bachelor's way... he's free to do so. But I am not playing games here - I have my own life to live and my own goals to reach on top of that, "my little man to raise". I will not allow for him to waste my time or Mathias' - we will move forward!!!If in 5 years Mathias ends up calling another man "daddy" it would be all his fault for not wanting to BE A REAL DADDY.
this is all I have to say - oh and one time he went to jail - I was 6 months pregnant with Mathias when "very, very bad things happened" - to not embarass my self or Julio - I will not mention them. Never in my life had I been treated that way and I knew I would never, ever let that happen again!
If Julio decides to not come back home - maybe it's the best for everyone. If he decides to come back home - we really need to work on the situation!
10-13-2004, 01:49 PM
#3
1.5 BAR
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 1,190
Re:Maria replies to Julio
as the world turns
10-13-2004, 01:49 PM
#4
3.0 BAR
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 11,058
Re:Maria replies to Julio
sounds like you love him and you both need to talk things out and come to some agreements. if one person doesn't want to be in a relationship as much as the other person does, it will never work, both parties have to be willing to make sacrifices and swallow their pride every now and then. best of luck to all three of you 
on another note, i sure am glad my wife has no idea how to log on to a forum
on another note, i sure am glad my wife has no idea how to log on to a forum
10-13-2004, 01:52 PM
#5
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Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 443
Re:Maria replies to Julio
I have no idea what the hell that said cause its way too ------- long but.... GO ASK OPRAH! 
10-13-2004, 01:53 PM
#6
3.0 BAR
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,438
Re:Maria replies to Julio
yea for real... sounds like you both need to work things out, and youll both have to compromise on things and give a little to make things work, if you dont it wont work
10-13-2004, 01:55 PM
#7
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 8,155
Re:Maria replies to Julio
all i have to say dont use your son to get at julio. Just talk to him instead of talking to us
10-13-2004, 01:58 PM
#9
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re:Maria replies to Julio
play nice and stop calling the damn police
