Good Joke.
02-28-2004, 04:38 PM
#1
1.0 BAR
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 390
Good Joke.
Dear diary, I have never quite figured out why the sexual urges
of men and women differ so much. I never have figured out the
whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men
think with their head and women think with their heart. I have never
figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state
of turmoil, when it hears the words " I do".
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.
Well,
the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't
feel like it, I just want you to hold me. "I said "WHAT
" So she
says the words every husband on the planet dreads to hear, "you
must not be in tune with my emotional needs as a woman." I am
thinking, "What was her first clue?" I finally realized that nothing
was going to happen that night so I went to sleep.
The very next day, we went shopping at a Marshall Field's
store. I walked around with h er while she tried on three different
and very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
take so I told her to take all three. She wanted matching shoes;
I said "let's get a pair for each outfit." We went to the jewelry
department where she gets a pair of diamond earrings. Let me
tell you, she was so excited. She must have thought I was a
few French fries short of a Happy Meal. I started to think she
was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when
she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her
for a loop when I said it was OK. She was almost sexually
excited from all of this. You should have seen her face when
she said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cash register."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out "no honey,
I don't feel like buying all of this stuff right now." You should
have seen her face...It went completely blank. I then said,
"Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while"
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me
I added, "you must not be in tune with my financial needs as a man."
I figure that I won't be having sex again until some time
after the spring of 2108.
of men and women differ so much. I never have figured out the
whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men
think with their head and women think with their heart. I have never
figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state
of turmoil, when it hears the words " I do".
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.
Well,
the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't
feel like it, I just want you to hold me. "I said "WHAT
" So shesays the words every husband on the planet dreads to hear, "you
must not be in tune with my emotional needs as a woman." I am
thinking, "What was her first clue?" I finally realized that nothing
was going to happen that night so I went to sleep.
The very next day, we went shopping at a Marshall Field's
store. I walked around with h er while she tried on three different
and very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
take so I told her to take all three. She wanted matching shoes;
I said "let's get a pair for each outfit." We went to the jewelry
department where she gets a pair of diamond earrings. Let me
tell you, she was so excited. She must have thought I was a
few French fries short of a Happy Meal. I started to think she
was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when
she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her
for a loop when I said it was OK. She was almost sexually
excited from all of this. You should have seen her face when
she said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cash register."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out "no honey,
I don't feel like buying all of this stuff right now." You should
have seen her face...It went completely blank. I then said,
"Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while"
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me
I added, "you must not be in tune with my financial needs as a man."
I figure that I won't be having sex again until some time
after the spring of 2108.
02-28-2004, 04:39 PM
#2
3.0 BAR
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 21,479
Re:Good Joke.
That was way too long. 
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02-28-2004, 04:41 PM
#4
3.0 BAR
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 21,479
Re:Good Joke.
No, but you're still gay.
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