robs89lxi

A TEXAN MOVES NORTH

Jan. 10It's 5:00 PM. It's starting to snow. The first one of the season and the first one we've seen in years. The wife and I took our hot buttered rums and sat by the picture window, watching the soft flakes drift down, clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It was beautiful!

Jan. 11 We awoke to a lovely blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape. What a fantastic sight. Every tree and shrub covered with a beautiful white mantle. I shoveled snow for the first time in years and loved it. I did both the driveway and the sidewalk. Later, a city snowplow came along and accidentally covered up our driveway with compacted snow from the street. The driver smiled and waved. I waved back and shoveled it again.

Jan. 12 It snowed an additional 5 inches last night and the temperature has dropped to around 11 degrees. Several limbs on the trees and shrubs snapped due to the weight of the snow. I shoveled the driveway again. Shortly afterwards, the snowplow came by and pulled his trick again. Now, much of the snow is brownish-gray.

Jan. 13 It warmed up enough during the day to create some slush which soon became ice when the temperature dropped again. Bought snow tires for both cars. Fell on my *** in the driveway. $145.00 to a chiropractor, but nothing was broken. More snow and ice expected

Jan. 14 Still cold as hell. Sold the wife's car and bought a 4 X 4 in order to get her to work. Slid into the guardrail anyway and did a considerable amount of damage to the right rear quarter panel. Had another 8 inches of the white ---- last night. Both vehicles are covered in salt and crud. More shoveling in store for me today. That goddam snowplow came by twice today.

Jan. 15 It's 2 ------- degrees outside. More ------- snow. Not a tree or shrub on our property that hasn't been damaged. Power was off most of the night. Tried to keep from freezing to death with candles and a kerosene heater, which tipped over and nearly burned the house down. I managed to put the flames out, but suffered 2nd degree burns on my hands and I lost all my eyelashes and eyebrows. The car slid off the road on the way to the emergency room and was totalled.

Jan. 16 Goddam mother ------- white ---- keeps on coming down. Have to put on all the clothes we own just to get to the ------- mailbox. If I ever catch that son-of-a-bitch that drives the snowplow, I'll chew open his chest and rip his heart out. I think he hides around the corner and waits until I shovel our driveway again! Power is still off. Toilet froze and part of the roof has started to cave in.

Jan. 17 Six goddam more ------- inches of ------- snow and ------- sleet and ------- ice and no telling what other kind of white ------- ---- fell last night. I wounded the ------- snowplow ------- with an ice ax, but he got away. Wife left me. Car won't start. I think I'm going snowblind. I can't feel my ------- toes. Haven't seen the sun in weeks. More white ---- is predicted. Wind chill is -22 ------- degrees below. I'm moving my *** back to Texas!