Check this out, funny ----
04-06-2004, 09:24 PM
#11
3.0 BAR
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 5,101
Re:Check this out, funny ----
Originally Posted by Dr.Boost
I'll make it easy for the lazy people....
This story is just too good not to pass on...makes me laugh in a real
sick sort of way.... but there's justice...ET
For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need
to take it out on someone -- don't take it out on someone you know. Take
it out on someone you don't know.
I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten
to make. I found the number, and dialed it. A man answered saying,
"Hello?"
I politely said, "This is Fred, could I please speak with Robin Carter?"
He replied "Wrong number -------" and the phone was slammed down on me.
I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.
I tracked down Robin's correct number, and called her. (I had transposed
the last two digits of her phone number.) After hanging up with her, I
decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the
phone, I yelled, "You're an -------!" and I hung up.
I wrote his number down, with the word '-------' next to it, and put it
in my desk drawer.
Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day,
I'd call him up and yell, "You're an -------!" It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic '-------'
calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this
is John Smith from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if
you're familiar with the caller ID program?"
He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down.
I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an -------!"
So, one day I was at the grocery store, getting ready to pull into a
parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off, and pulled into the
spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had
been waiting for the spot. The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale"
sign in his car window, so I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first ------- (I had his
number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW -------, too.
I dialed and someone said, "Hello?" I said, "Is this the man with the
black BMW for sale?"
"Yes, it is."
"Can you tell me where I can see it?"
"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and the car's
parked right out front."
"What's your name?" I asked.
"My name is Don Hansen," he said.
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
"I'm home every evening after five."
"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
"Yes?"
"Don, you're an -------!" Then I hung up, and added his number to my
speed dial.
Now, when I had a problem, I had two ******** to call. But after several
weeks of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be.
So, I came up with an idea: I called ------- #1. "Hello?" You're an
-------!" (but I didn't hang up).
"Are you still there?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said.
"Stop calling me," he screamed.
"Make me," I said.
"Who are you? " he asked.
"My name is Don Hansen."
"Yeah? Where do you live?"
"I live at 1802 West 34th Street, -------, a yellow house with my black
BMW parked in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start
saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, -------."
Then I called ------- # 2: "Hello?" he said.
"Hello -------," I said.
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are ..."
"You'll what?" I said.
"I'll kick your ***," he exclaimed.
I answered, "Well, -------, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."
Then, I hung up, and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 1802 West 34th Street, and I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.
Then, I called Channel 13 news about the gang war going down on West 34th Street.
I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th St. There, I saw two ******** beating the crap out of each other in front of six squad cars, a police helicopter, and a TV news crew.
Now, I feel better ...
Masquerading as a normal person, day after day, is exhausting ...
This story is just too good not to pass on...makes me laugh in a real
sick sort of way.... but there's justice...ET
For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need
to take it out on someone -- don't take it out on someone you know. Take
it out on someone you don't know.
I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten
to make. I found the number, and dialed it. A man answered saying,
"Hello?"
I politely said, "This is Fred, could I please speak with Robin Carter?"
He replied "Wrong number -------" and the phone was slammed down on me.
I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.
I tracked down Robin's correct number, and called her. (I had transposed
the last two digits of her phone number.) After hanging up with her, I
decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the
phone, I yelled, "You're an -------!" and I hung up.
I wrote his number down, with the word '-------' next to it, and put it
in my desk drawer.
Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day,
I'd call him up and yell, "You're an -------!" It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic '-------'
calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this
is John Smith from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if
you're familiar with the caller ID program?"
He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down.
I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an -------!"
So, one day I was at the grocery store, getting ready to pull into a
parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off, and pulled into the
spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had
been waiting for the spot. The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale"
sign in his car window, so I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first ------- (I had his
number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW -------, too.
I dialed and someone said, "Hello?" I said, "Is this the man with the
black BMW for sale?"
"Yes, it is."
"Can you tell me where I can see it?"
"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and the car's
parked right out front."
"What's your name?" I asked.
"My name is Don Hansen," he said.
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
"I'm home every evening after five."
"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
"Yes?"
"Don, you're an -------!" Then I hung up, and added his number to my
speed dial.
Now, when I had a problem, I had two ******** to call. But after several
weeks of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be.
So, I came up with an idea: I called ------- #1. "Hello?" You're an
-------!" (but I didn't hang up).
"Are you still there?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said.
"Stop calling me," he screamed.
"Make me," I said.
"Who are you? " he asked.
"My name is Don Hansen."
"Yeah? Where do you live?"
"I live at 1802 West 34th Street, -------, a yellow house with my black
BMW parked in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start
saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, -------."
Then I called ------- # 2: "Hello?" he said.
"Hello -------," I said.
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are ..."
"You'll what?" I said.
"I'll kick your ***," he exclaimed.
I answered, "Well, -------, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."
Then, I hung up, and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 1802 West 34th Street, and I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.
Then, I called Channel 13 news about the gang war going down on West 34th Street.
I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th St. There, I saw two ******** beating the crap out of each other in front of six squad cars, a police helicopter, and a TV news crew.
Now, I feel better ...
Masquerading as a normal person, day after day, is exhausting ...
04-06-2004, 10:39 PM
#14
1.5 BAR
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 1,065
Re:Check this out, funny ----
I have a number at work that would be good for some laughs. I have a business contact named Jimmy. His cell phone number was changed and I tried to call one day. All I did was ask for Jimmy and the fuckstick on the other end gets all pissy with me. "This ain't no Jimmy's ------- phone. Don't call me no mo.." so I made it a point to call him from every pay phone I ran across and ask for Jimmy. Each time I called, he got more and more rude. So, one time, I called with a thick NY italian accent. I told him this was Vinnie and if he didn't have the money he owed us in 24 hours, we'd be paying him a visit. At first, he didn't believe me, but I could hear a little hesitation in his voice and just kept playing it up with some bs about how one night he was smoking crack and how he busted up one the the girls real bad. He was freaking out. Swearing he wasn't Jimmy. I just played along like he was lying.. he was literally crying by the end of the phone call. I ended it with my normal voice.. "Uh, by the way.. can I speak to Jimmy?"
