broke up w/girlfriend
 

After, a year and a half of living with one girl and breaking up, how would you guys take it? I'm ------ depressed all the time man. She'll probably take me back if I show her that I want her back. But I'm going in the military in october. I'll be gone for 6 months. She just wants us to be engaged before I leave so she knows I'll come back to her and not find someone else. She was the perfect girl for me. but I don't wanna propose cuz I'm only 20. I told her that and that's when she dumped me. What the hell would you guys do?

Re:broke up w/girlfriend
 

tell her if you love me that much, you would wait till i get back......
im thinking the hole reasin she broke up with you, is that she thinks you will cheat on her while your away.
your gonna have to do some pretty good convincing <---sp
but if it dosent work out. then it just wasnt ment to be. just keep your head up, youll find somebody better. im sure your gonna be feeling bad/depresed for a while, but it will pass. trust me ;)

Re:broke up w/girlfriend
 

THanks, I've benn getting drunk like everyday too. I got problems, all this is happening at the worst time too. Like I need to find a job but I'm too depressed to. Anyone got any interesting breakup stories?

Re:broke up w/girlfriend
 

if you fel that she is the one for you, buy her a ring and a necklace. Put the ring on the neclace, and give it to her.

Tell her that you love her more than anything in the world and blah blah blah. Tell her that the ring on the necklace is like a proposal, except that it is not. It is just a way to represent the way you love her and that you would never do anything to hurt her whether you are engaged or not. Tell her the ring is to show her that you will come back to her like a man comes home to his wife.

If she asks why not just propose, just tell her, 'you and I are are mature and smart enough to know that it is too soon to make a decision like that.' Then tell her that you want to make sure you get your life together mentally and financially before you make a committment.

Something along those lines will do the trick. You could even tell her during the time you are gone she could wear the ring so other dudes will know to back off. This will serve two purposes, one, you really love her and don't want anyone else to touch her, and two, she might giggle and laugh, girls like to laugh.

Oh and if you are dead serious about her and think you could spend the rest of your life with her, you could go one step farther and buy matching rings, one for her necklace and one for you and you can tell her that while you are away that you will wear the ring so not only will the other girls know you are taken, but while the two of you are apart the rings will make you two that much closer.

Good luck man, let us know how things go.

AND STOP ------' DRINKING! >:(

Re:broke up w/girlfriend
 

Im right where you are breaker, except my ex is mean, and no matter how much i show her i love her, and forgive her, she always leaves me when she fucks up. 2and 1/2 years. It's tough to move on.. i haven't been able to do it yet.

Re:broke up w/girlfriend
 

That sucks man, you know what the best medicine for this? Move on and show her that you are 'happy'. And stop treating her to 'lovingly'. It's a known fact, at least in my experience, that if you treat a girl just slightly better than dirt they somehow like you more ??? Take for example my girl now, I used to pay for all sorts of ----, clothes, food, gas, car stuff, pretty much everything. During this time she actually left me three times. Recently I was questioning 'us' and treated her way different, didn't buy her no more clothes, she had to start paying for her food and sometimes mine (of course sometimes I would pay just cause I felt bad), don't show her as much affection, I don't even hold her hand anymore. I treat her different verbally and everything, and she's stuck to me like glue. I think it might be that when you treat them less, they realize what a great catch you were and they try to get that 'perfect' guy back. So for you my perscription would be the opposite of breaker. I'm not saying it would work, but it's worth a shot. Take my situation for example, I hate the fact that my girl wants to do everything with me, wants to be everywhere I am, and it gets annoying and somewhat off a turn off. When you express your love for her, just don't push to hard or the boulder might fall.

Much luck to you too.

Re:broke up w/girlfriend
 

women are the devil, cars are where its at ;)

Re:broke up w/girlfriend
 

just move on dude, you're young.

Re:broke up w/girlfriend
 

Yeah, could see myself with her, but I like girls a lot. Maybe I'm too young to be thinking about commitment. afraid I might cheat. I'm with her every second so I don't get the chance to even talk to other girls, she hangs out with her guyfriends and I dropped all my female friends. That sucks. Don't know what the hell to do. She treated me like a king though. Hope there's other girls that are willing to do that

Re:broke up w/girlfriend
 

plenty of fish in the sea. Never trust a girl who has all sorts of "guy friends"... she will dump you one day for one of those guy friends.

Wait it out man, you'll find someone better; after that you will find someone ever better.

Re:broke up w/girlfriend
 

Murdoc you are now the official, HMT, in house.... sociologist 8)

Re:broke up w/girlfriend
 

yeah my girls is worried about me and my business, but I would never drop my female friends. They are her friends too so she would have nothing to worry about. These girls have been there for me and I will for them whether she likes it or not. She ditched most of her buds, but I never asked her to, so i dunno. I guess she really doesn't like it because all my close friends are girls, I really never hung out with the guys, except now with the HMT SoCal meets ;D

About her and her guy friends, I dunno about that man, ya'll need to make compromises, if you ditched yours, she's gotta do the same. Or go hang out with your old friends, if she flips, then she'll just have to get used to it, or the two of you ain't gonna happen. But then being treated like a king.... hmmmm.....

I could feel you on the liking girls and cheating thing. Man in the time I've been with my girl I have met so many hotter girls that I clicked with and could have evolved into something, but knowing that there's this sweet little girl waiting for me keeps me from doing it. It sucks and it's hard too. I'm at college, and there are some ------'... well that should explain it. I have a place to myself and no one to know ----, but I don't do nothing because I know she is there waiting for me back home. Temptations man. :-\

As far as other girls out there, I'm sure there are girls that are willing to treat you like she did, but for me I want to ditch mine even though I know I would never find another like her, so I'm lost in my own thing. In the future you may find another girl, but she may not be a 'serving' as this one, but she still may be better.

I somewhat agree with quad on because you now have a standard and you always try to get something better than the last. I've even told my girl straight up that if we split i will find someone better and she should too. It's just like a place to live, you don't go from a mansion to an apartment, you go from an apartment to a condo to a house to a bigger house to a mansion, you get the picture.

Again good luck AND STOP DRINKING!

Re:broke up w/girlfriend
 

Well... it's not like she has ALOT of guy friends. She has one that she hangs out with sometimes, and then she has her brother that has a rap group so she does music with all of them. Man, I dunno. I don't know what's gonna happen with me or us when I go to the air force but I don't want this to end up with me saying, "---- me, I should have stayed with her."

Re:broke up w/girlfriend
 

The thing is, she calls me and asks if I miss her. I don't know what to say. I don't want to look weak or anything and I don't want her to control my emotions so I just don't say anything. It's hard to keep quiet about my feelings though because I know she's hurting just as much as I am.

Re:broke up w/girlfriend
 

dude just get back together with her. she doesn't realy want to marry you for a ring or whatever, she wants to tie you down. if you feel miserable without her then just get back together w/her, suck it up and get married. i got married last year to my girl for 3 years back then, now 1 year married. mariage is way over rated. all it is is a paper realy. other than that it's the same crap as having only one gf for a realy, realy, long time. and if she's worth it marry her! don't ---- it up if she's a good girl and if she has values and all that other stuff that sluts don't have. by the way, she wants to marry you before you join the army cause she's worried you're gonna lay down more pipe then a plumber when you go partyin in some foreign country. by the way, when a girl dumps you and you don't wanna be dumped, try to convince her within 2 minutes. if you don't get back together for good, atleast i bet you're gonna hit it once or twice more. unless you realy fucked up and she caught you stickin her friend.lol ;D

Re:broke up w/girlfriend
 

I'm 20 and engaged to be married next year. don't lose something that you'll regret forever just because you don't think you are old enough. trust what you feel, not what you think.

Re:broke up w/girlfriend
 

yep true bamboo, breaker don't listen to your friends! just do what you feel and keep it real.

Re:broke up w/girlfriend
 

Each sitaution is different. Follow your gut it's usually right.

Re:broke up w/girlfriend
 

So your going into the military huh...what branch? Im a Marine. WIth that said, does your GF know that the world is in a time of war and you will deploy alot, do you know that, no one stays stationary, ---- what the recruiters say, unless you get with a real bitch job like admin or something gay like that you WILL DEPLOY! Even cooks deploy. Also, Im married, got married when I was 20 she was 19. We both have debt, and life sucks right now in the terms of money. WHen we first got married, we were just all about being together because I was in Cali, she was in Indiana. We didn't care about anything, just being together. So she called me one day and said, he im flyin out there and we are getting married,(which we were already engaged) so she did. I am happily married, but sometimes we wish we would've waited. We have a really good time together, always going out and doing ----, but sometimes we both admit that we would've been better off waiting. She hasnt finished school, I wanna go to school, this will 10X more difficult married,(my school is in wyoming, hers is in Indiana)

Yeah, when you are in the military you get money for housing and food and such if you choose not to take base housing, but ours barely covers everything.

If I were in your shoes, which I was about 2.5 years ago, I would tell her to wait it out. Things sound so easy to get together and get married in the military, but I wouldnt. If the world was stable and you could stay home and be with her, I would say do it, but not right now. Maybe you will just have to learn the hard way I dont know...but thats my $.02

IF you need any real anwsers about the military, ask me. Just PM me or something.

Re:broke up w/girlfriend
 

screw that. any girl that says marry me or lose me I pick LOSE her. what is she affraid of, you're going to find some hot army chick? lol?

besides. I dont know how it is in USA but in Canada it's "illegal" to have relations with another member of the military while on base.

Re:broke up w/girlfriend
 

it is illeagle if say an E-4 dates or marrys a E-8 or if an enlisted dates or marries officer, vice versa. (its callled fratinazation, same as the real world) This gets streteched alot though. If the service member isnt of the same branch, it usally doesnt really matter. Or if like a E-4 marries an E-8 and they arent in the same chain of command no one usally says anything.

theres alot to it...

Re:broke up w/girlfriend
 

I'm gonna be in the air force, don't know how often thy get deployed. Yeah, I don't know what to do because I wanted us to everyday living with her. I was feeling all smothered and the house is always messy and ----. I got tired of that because I'm a neat person but I just got tired of trying to keep the house clean. And people always keep telling me that if I truly love her then I would want to be with her all the time. I disagree. Another thing is she keeps telling me she wants to get married cuz she's like 22. Only 2 years older than me, but that doesn't seem like a big difference. She makes it sound like it is. ---- we'll see what happens. HEY, GIVE ME ANOTHER BEER! j/k ;D

Re:broke up w/girlfriend
 

To the curb man, don't get tied down at such a young age.

I agree with Mike on that marry me or lose me thing.

Re:broke up w/girlfriend
 

I'm married and in the military. And I'll tell you this much, YOU MUST HAVE A WHOLE LOT OF TRUST. That's what's going to determine if you two are meant for a lot more...

Communications (lots of it) is also a plus in any relationships whether near or far...

Re:broke up w/girlfriend
 

pinoy hit it on the head. you see in a military town, you have a ---- load of males, and about 10 percent of those males being married. (so a few females) so when deployments come up, the girls are stuck there with the other 90% of males left. get my point...

and dont say.....
because there is a good chance...


and whats your job gonna be in the air force, do you know yet? i know that they arent deploying alot of air force, so you might be a little safe, but still...you will deploy. excerises and such...

I would say maybe get engaged if thats what she wants, but I would wait to marry until you get to your duty station, and find out how living is and all of that. Plus save up some money man....Im serious.

Re:broke up w/girlfriend
 

Girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me because she wanted to be "independent". That was a month ago. Girls suck, cannot be trusted until you're married to em, even then maybe not. >:(

Re:broke up w/girlfriend
 

life blows...im 20 too and marriage, money, and my girlfriend worry me all day long (that and thinking about my car). If she is the one for you and the only thing keeping you apart is marriage, propose. Then you can go away and feel secure and come back and get married. If either of you ---- up during that period that you're gone, then call it off. This way, you can go away and not have worrying about her on your mind the whole time.

Re:broke up w/girlfriend
 

the first part was said well, and straight to the point.

the second part, if you do that, and things go wrong, your fucked out of the money you spent on a ring. and if you are like me, i spent $3grand on that ----. (the set) but well worth it.

you will have a hard time at first, ive been married 2 years now and it still sucks. (money, issues, ---- like that) I love my wife to death, but i find myself alot thinking I wish I wouldve waited.

My reasons are- putting her through being by herself through deployments, sometimes I wish I could give her more, I feel like I dont give her the life she wants. Military pay blows goast balls. FYI, did you know that a militay person under 3 years of service lives under the poverty level? Last year I made 14K as a 3 year E-3. so think about that.

I really hope you are reading all of these posts and adviece. Im sure my wife will want to comment to you, because we were once in your shoes.

Re:broke up w/girlfriend
 

I'm doing aircraft electronics. Will be in texas for 6 months and who knows where the hell I'm gonna be after that so it would be nice to know there's something waiting for me at home. This is like the fourth time we broke up, but I mean we've always gotten back together in less than a week. I love her to death. I've just been really stressed out lately because I'm in a bad financial situation with credit card and owing my stepdad money. And my stress shows in the relationship so she's a little upset at that. For example I'm depressed all the time when we're together, don't feel like having sex as much, grouchy all the time. All the stuff stress does. But yeah, Thanks so much for the advice and support guys. I appreciate it, you guys are great.

Re:broke up w/girlfriend
 

Good luck with whatever happens... with being young, hell, my grandfather got married the day after he turned 18 and spent 45 1/2 years with her ("Til Death Do We Part"). You never know man, but if you feel like she's the right girl, then do it.

Re:broke up w/girlfriend
 

Yeah, I think I'm just making a big deal about the "marriage" thing. Like trebor_nordap said, marriage may just be over-rated. It's just the government recognizing a couple as being a couple. But incase I get divorced, I just didn't want to end up having to tell other women I meet later on that I've been married before. Cuz my dad's been married like 3 times and he's about to go on his 4th, I just didn't want to be like that cuz I know there's money involved with divorces.