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-   -   Best joke ever ;) (https://www.homemadeturbo.com/general-discussion-6/best-joke-ever-%3B-67288/)

lechilka26 08-26-2006 11:31 AM

Best joke ever ;)
 
Sorry for this offtopic but it's damn funny :))) I could not hold it!

Why it is good to be a man?

1. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
2. Your orgasms are real. Always.
3. Your last name stays put.
4. The garage is all yours.
5. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
7. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
8. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
9. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
10. Same work .. more pay.
11. Wrinkles-add character.
12. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
13. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100
14. If you retain water, it's in a canteen
15. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them16. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet
17. One mood, ALL the damn time
18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds
19. A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase
20. You can open all your own jars
26. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me."
27. No maxi-pads
28. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends
29. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors
30. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt
31. You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes
32. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades33. Your belly usually hides your big hips

did you like it?



1991civicsi 08-26-2006 11:46 AM

Re: Best joke ever ;)
 

(REPOST)
http://www.compfused.com/directlink/3843/

d16u7nh 08-30-2006 11:03 AM

Re: Best joke ever ;)
 
my favorite joke is:
What the first symptom of AIDS?
The pounding in your ass.

davcivic 08-30-2006 11:10 AM

Re: Best joke ever ;)
 
You sir are a gay bastard......

You think I would not notice that your PERIODS..........at the end of each sentence is not a link to some site, and your email address is from an advertising agency. Bitch get out of here, if you are a robot/spambot I guess you will never read this. :-\ ;D

People don't click on the links, and a mod should delete his posts. If those are just counters and everytime someone sees this thread he gets paid I would be pissed off. The person doesn't deserve to live.


that is all.

ghettoturbo 08-30-2006 11:42 AM

Re: Best joke ever ;)
 

Originally Posted by davcivic
You sir are a gay bastard......

You think I would not notice that your PERIODS..........at the end of each sentence is not a link to some site, and your email address is from an advertising agency. Bitch get out of here, if you are a robot/spambot I guess you will never read this. :-\ ;D

People don't click on the links, and a mod should delete his posts. If those are just counters and everytime someone sees this thread he gets paid I would be pissed off. The person doesn't deserve to live.


that is all.


taken care of...links removed

davcivic 08-30-2006 11:55 AM

Re: Best joke ever ;)
 
Awesome....now we can use this to ----- it out......or maybe not.... :1 :S :8 ;)

Donald125 08-30-2006 12:44 PM

Re: Best joke ever ;)
 
25 yrs old young man had sex with his 85 years old wife for the very first time but then died from food poisioning.
























He died from drinking expired human milk.
:P

1991civicsi 08-30-2006 10:03 PM

Re: Best joke ever ;)
 

Originally Posted by Donald125
25 yrs old young man had sex with his 85 years old wife for the very first time but then died from food poisioning.
























He died from drinking expired human milk.
:P

LOL

b16sellout 08-30-2006 10:06 PM

Re: Best joke ever ;)
 
I saw something similar once and my favorite one off of it was: "You can justify almost anything as long as it is preceded by, 'Ah to hell with it!!' "

EG-prince 08-30-2006 11:11 PM

Re: Best joke ever ;)
 
Winter time: Mother Theresa is walking home from the chapel and sees two young altar boys with their pants at thier ankles laughing and leaning crotch first into a snow bank. Mother Theresa yells "boys! boys! what are you doing? you're going to hurt yourselves!" One boy replies, "Its ok Mother Theresa, Father likes a couple of cold ones after mass."


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