SkunT

Yeah, so I am, well, hitched. My girl, she is really bothering me. We have been together for 2 years now, and well, it seems nothing is normal anymore. We pretty much got married because we were having a long distance relationship,(phone) Im in the military and we could be together if we were married. (when your married in the military you get extra money for housing and food and stuff) She could even continue school out here. We have lived together for a year and a half now and shes droped out of school, and just working the 9-5 job. THen I relized that she has a shitload of debt in her name. So that sucks, and we cant pay for it. She has no goals, we never have sex (it used to be we could never get enough before we got married). I know she isn't cheatin on me cause I meet her all the time for lunch at work, and we are together when she isnt at work. --yeah we are only 22, but I think about it all of the time, and I think I could have so much more if we werent married.--am I being selfish? Does this happen to everyone that gets married at first? I cant even imagine where we will be in 5 years. --and that scares me. What do you guys think(you married people) --and we have no kids. thank god.

Spenser

murder her and burry her in IRAC.

dragon

spenser shut up. no i like to help you out with that but i can't really speak from experience. your going to have to ask projekteg or stealthmode for that im sure they been through that once or another. I know teg has :P

turboDXcoupe

the first 2 years is the hardest for most people so they say......but its kinda true in my point of view....i was so used to kicken it with my freinds and going to the illegal races but it all changed when i got married......just go on a vacation with her and its all good after that...

HondaTuner

From my experience of being in a family full of divorces and problems.. Tell her whats been bothering you, and if you need to, go to counseling and try to have her come as well. She sounds like she might be suffering from depression. (Quitting job, not having sex with you, and the fact that you're in the military may worry her). Of course, I don't have a PhD so don't take my words set in stone.

For now, talk to her about the problem and try and see if you can resolve the problem. If not, I would say go to a counselor that specializes in married couples.

SkunT

my biggest peoblem, were always broke, then collectors call and ----.-she wont let me handle the money. Shes always going out to eat and ----, then when i do try to do something, she gets pissed. i have less than a year in the Marines, and it will be time to get another house, and move on. --we will be screwed. she hasnt paid her bills since like last oct! she never wants time to us, its always lets go out with this person or that person. this all really takes my feelings away from her. no sex, no money, no turbos....
maybe I expect to much. thats what everyone else tells me. but all I expect is that we have a healthy relationship.
aka, bills up to date, sex, time for ourselves...turbos....LOL

SkunT

thanks, i may go do that...
and she knows that im upset.

HondaTuner

There's some non-profit organizations who will take care of the bill collectors for you. I'm not sure of any names, but look around and you can find them. They will call the bill collectors and get a low monthly payment plan for you.

With the going out to eat, I would explain to her that with you being in debt that she can't do that anymore. If she's using credit, cancel them. She can't be wasting money if you don't have much to begin with.

Expecting a healthy relationship isn't "expecting too much" as people have been telling you. Sometimes when a woman stops having sex, she's beginning to feel very insecure about herself. Maybe she's gained a few pounds or thinks herself as unattractive. Once again, she might be depressed.

As I said before, try and talk to her. If it doesnt help.. I would go to the counseling. I know I'm pressing the counseling issue a lot, but everyone I've seen go to one ended up coming out much better than if they had not. Even if she refuses to go, just going by yourself might be good for you as well.

Hope this helps you a little bit.

B16Drag

I think you and your lady needs to have a nice talk. I'm wondering if she knows that you feel this way. Chances are that she is probably feeling the same way you are--a bit overwhelmed and not knowing how to deal with it. You might ask her what she thinks and how she feels about things. Girls tend to "feel" and know whats going on more than guys (usually unless we got lots of pussies in here).

I just wish you guys the best and hope you last. First couple years are the hardest... Take it slow and one day at a time. Its not the arguements that kill a relationship, its how you argue that does. Or according to spenser's upsidedown and twisted philosophy, he is his own demise.

Again, good luck buddy...

SkunT

Dam, you hit it right on the head. Talking, It never works. it works for about 2-3 days then....
the weight, yeah she is insecure, and she gained some weight when I went to Iraq. Now she thinks she needs to buy new clothes, spend more money. I tried to run her ***, nothing like what Marines do, but I tried to help her lose weight, it never works when she goes out to eat all of the time. I think im gonna try the nice approach....see what happens. She does know the way I feel. She seems like she doesnt really care though. If things dont change by Dec time, (thats 6 months) I think I will change things...