Okay ,I wanna hear some good fag jokes and black jokes.
10-06-2005, 04:08 PM
#11
1.5 BAR
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 1,324
Re: Okay ,I wanna hear some good *** jokes and black jokes.
why do mexican's drive lowriders?
so they dont have to get out of their car to pick lettuce.
what does a black man say during sex?
scream bitch ill kill you.
how do you keep black people from breaking into your back yard?
hang one in the front
whats the differance between a black man and a large cheese pizza?
the large pizza can feed a family
and just to show you i'm not racist. im irish so here are the irish jokes:
whats 5miles long, green and full of a bunch of ********?
a st.patrick's day parade
whats the differance between an irish wedding and a irish funeral?
one less person.
and one last one:
What's 12" long, purple and makes a grown woman scream?
Crib Death
so they dont have to get out of their car to pick lettuce.
what does a black man say during sex?
scream bitch ill kill you.
how do you keep black people from breaking into your back yard?
hang one in the front
whats the differance between a black man and a large cheese pizza?
the large pizza can feed a family
and just to show you i'm not racist. im irish so here are the irish jokes:
whats 5miles long, green and full of a bunch of ********?
a st.patrick's day parade
whats the differance between an irish wedding and a irish funeral?
one less person.
and one last one:
What's 12" long, purple and makes a grown woman scream?
Crib Death
10-06-2005, 05:10 PM
#14
1.5 BAR
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 1,440
Re: Okay ,I wanna hear some good *** jokes and black jokes.
seriously, google "racist jokes" and there's like a racistjokes.com or something
what's the difference between black guys and sperm?
only 1 in 2 million work
what's long, black and smells of booze?
the wellfare line
all i can think of at the moment, but just earch up racist jokes and you'll find millions
what's the difference between black guys and sperm?
only 1 in 2 million work
what's long, black and smells of booze?
the wellfare line
all i can think of at the moment, but just earch up racist jokes and you'll find millions
10-06-2005, 07:08 PM
#19
!! UNCONFIRMED EMAIL !!
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 2,949
Re: Okay ,I wanna hear some good *** jokes and black jokes.
So you want jokes eh?
Following The Track
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are trapped in a forest. One day the brunette goes out hunting. She comes back and has a big dead deer. The blonde and the redhead are impressed. They ask her how she did it and she says "I found the tracks, followed them and shot the deer." The next day the redhead goes out hunting and comes back with a big dead deer. The blonde and brunette ask her how she did it and she says "I found the tracks, followed them and shot the deer." The next day the blonde goes out and comes back and is all mangled. The brunette and the redhead ask her what happened and the blonde says "I found the tracks, followed them and got hit by a train."
Blonde Kidnapper
Once upon a time when a Blonde was hard up for money, she decided to kidnap a child. So the next day she goes to a nearby playground and when nobody is looking, she pulls a random kid behind a tree and says, "You're kidnapped, so be quiet and don't give me any trouble." The little boy, too startled to do anything stands there in shock. The Blonde then pulls out a note that reads:
I am a desperate Blonde hard up for money. I have kidnapped you kid and if you ever want to see him again you arrange for 5,000 dollars in non-sequencial, unmarked bills to be put next to this tree by 12:00 tonight, or else.
She hands the note to the kid and tells him to give it to his mother. The next day the Blonde finds the bag of money next to the tree. Inside the bag is a little note that reads:
Here is the money. How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?
Leaving Early
Three women all worked in the same office, with the same female boss. Each day they noticed that the boss would leave work early.
One day, the women decided, that when the boss left, they would leave right behind her. After all, she never called, or came back to work, so how would she know they went home early.
The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening, played with her son, and went to bed early.
The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at the gym before meeting her dinner date.
The blonde was happy to get home early to suprise her husband. But when she got to the bedroom,
she heard a muffled noise coming from inside.
Slowly and quietly she cracked open the door, and was mortified to see
her boss in bed with her husband!
Gently she closed the door, and crept out of the house.
The next day the brunette and the redhead planned on leaving early again and asked the blonde if she was going to go with them.
"NO WAY," the blonde exclaimed, " I ALMOST GOT CAUGHT YESTERDAY!!!"
There is a blonde, a redhead and a brunette on the stairway to heaven.
God says, "There are 3,000 steps and I'll tell you a joke on each 1,000th step you reach. If you laugh you go to hell."
So they start walking and reach to the first 1,000th step. God tells a joke, the brunette laughs and goes to hell.
Then on the 2,000th step God tells a joke, the redhead laughs and goes to hell.
On the 3,000th step God tells a joke, the blonde doesn't laugh and proceeds to the gate.
Suddenly, she bursts out laughing. God asks, "what are you laughing about?", so she replies, "I just got the first joke!".
Redneck Jury
A Blonde was on trial for murder and if convicted, she would get the electric chair. Her brother found out that another blonde was on the jury and figured she would be the one to bribe. He told the blonde that she would be paid $10,000 if she could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter.
The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter.
After the trial, the brother went to the blonde's house, told her what a great job she had done and paid her the $10,000.
The blonde replied that it wasn't easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter. They all wanted to let her go.
Getting Lucky?
While enjoying a drink with a friend one night, this guy decides to try his luck with an attractive young girl sitting alone by the bar.
To his surprise, she asks him to join her for a drink and eventually asks him if he'd like to come back to her place. The pair jump into a taxi and as soon as they get back to her house, they dive onto the bed and spend the night hard at it.
She gives this fellow the best night of his life with... THE WORKS! Finally, the fellow is completely worn out, and he reaches for a cigarette from his jeans and searches for his lighter. Unable to find it, he asks the girl if she has one.
"There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replies. Opening the drawer of the bedside table, he finds a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man. Naturally, the guy begins to worry. "Is this your husband?" he inquires nervously.
"No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him.
"Your boyfriend then?"
"No, I don't have a boyfriend," she says, nibbling away at his ear.
"Well, who is he then?!" demands the bewildered guy.
She tells him, "That was me before the operation."
One Hundred Bucks
The heavily-tattooed, tattoo artist looked at the extremely well-dressed trader with a look of complete astonishment, and said "I've had strange requests, but this one tops the list. Why in the hell would you want me to tattoo your pecker with the picture of a one hundred dollar bill?"
The trader in his usual fashion looked at the burly artist and told him this account. "There are three distinct reasons I want this done and done immediately.
One, I love to play with my money.
Two, when I play with my money, I love to see it grow.
Three, and this is the most important of all . . . the next time my wife wants to blow a hundred bucks, she won't have to leave home to do it!
This Is Heaven
This 85-year old couple, having been married almost 60 years, died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years, mainly due to her interest in health food, and exercise.
When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen, master bath suite and Jacuzzi.
As they "oohed and aahed," the old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost.
"It's free," Peter replied, "This is Heaven."
Next they went out back to see the championship golf course that the home backed up to. They would have golfing privileges everyday and each week the course changed to a new one representing the great golf courses on Earth.
The old man asked, "What are the green fees?"
Peter's reply, "This is heaven, you play for free."
Next they went to the club house and saw the lavish buffet lunch with the cuisine's of the world laid out. "How much to eat?" asked the old man.
"Don't you understand yet? This is heaven, it is free!" Peter replied.
"Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods?" the old man asked timidly.
"That's the best part," explained Peter, "You can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick. This is Heaven!"
The old man looked at his wife and said, "You and your darned bran muffins! I could have been here ten years ago!!"
Following The Track
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are trapped in a forest. One day the brunette goes out hunting. She comes back and has a big dead deer. The blonde and the redhead are impressed. They ask her how she did it and she says "I found the tracks, followed them and shot the deer." The next day the redhead goes out hunting and comes back with a big dead deer. The blonde and brunette ask her how she did it and she says "I found the tracks, followed them and shot the deer." The next day the blonde goes out and comes back and is all mangled. The brunette and the redhead ask her what happened and the blonde says "I found the tracks, followed them and got hit by a train."
Blonde Kidnapper
Once upon a time when a Blonde was hard up for money, she decided to kidnap a child. So the next day she goes to a nearby playground and when nobody is looking, she pulls a random kid behind a tree and says, "You're kidnapped, so be quiet and don't give me any trouble." The little boy, too startled to do anything stands there in shock. The Blonde then pulls out a note that reads:
I am a desperate Blonde hard up for money. I have kidnapped you kid and if you ever want to see him again you arrange for 5,000 dollars in non-sequencial, unmarked bills to be put next to this tree by 12:00 tonight, or else.
She hands the note to the kid and tells him to give it to his mother. The next day the Blonde finds the bag of money next to the tree. Inside the bag is a little note that reads:
Here is the money. How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?
Leaving Early
Three women all worked in the same office, with the same female boss. Each day they noticed that the boss would leave work early.
One day, the women decided, that when the boss left, they would leave right behind her. After all, she never called, or came back to work, so how would she know they went home early.
The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening, played with her son, and went to bed early.
The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at the gym before meeting her dinner date.
The blonde was happy to get home early to suprise her husband. But when she got to the bedroom,
she heard a muffled noise coming from inside.
Slowly and quietly she cracked open the door, and was mortified to see
her boss in bed with her husband!
Gently she closed the door, and crept out of the house.
The next day the brunette and the redhead planned on leaving early again and asked the blonde if she was going to go with them.
"NO WAY," the blonde exclaimed, " I ALMOST GOT CAUGHT YESTERDAY!!!"
There is a blonde, a redhead and a brunette on the stairway to heaven.
God says, "There are 3,000 steps and I'll tell you a joke on each 1,000th step you reach. If you laugh you go to hell."
So they start walking and reach to the first 1,000th step. God tells a joke, the brunette laughs and goes to hell.
Then on the 2,000th step God tells a joke, the redhead laughs and goes to hell.
On the 3,000th step God tells a joke, the blonde doesn't laugh and proceeds to the gate.
Suddenly, she bursts out laughing. God asks, "what are you laughing about?", so she replies, "I just got the first joke!".
Redneck Jury
A Blonde was on trial for murder and if convicted, she would get the electric chair. Her brother found out that another blonde was on the jury and figured she would be the one to bribe. He told the blonde that she would be paid $10,000 if she could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter.
The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter.
After the trial, the brother went to the blonde's house, told her what a great job she had done and paid her the $10,000.
The blonde replied that it wasn't easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter. They all wanted to let her go.
Getting Lucky?
While enjoying a drink with a friend one night, this guy decides to try his luck with an attractive young girl sitting alone by the bar.
To his surprise, she asks him to join her for a drink and eventually asks him if he'd like to come back to her place. The pair jump into a taxi and as soon as they get back to her house, they dive onto the bed and spend the night hard at it.
She gives this fellow the best night of his life with... THE WORKS! Finally, the fellow is completely worn out, and he reaches for a cigarette from his jeans and searches for his lighter. Unable to find it, he asks the girl if she has one.
"There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replies. Opening the drawer of the bedside table, he finds a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man. Naturally, the guy begins to worry. "Is this your husband?" he inquires nervously.
"No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him.
"Your boyfriend then?"
"No, I don't have a boyfriend," she says, nibbling away at his ear.
"Well, who is he then?!" demands the bewildered guy.
She tells him, "That was me before the operation."
One Hundred Bucks
The heavily-tattooed, tattoo artist looked at the extremely well-dressed trader with a look of complete astonishment, and said "I've had strange requests, but this one tops the list. Why in the hell would you want me to tattoo your pecker with the picture of a one hundred dollar bill?"
The trader in his usual fashion looked at the burly artist and told him this account. "There are three distinct reasons I want this done and done immediately.
One, I love to play with my money.
Two, when I play with my money, I love to see it grow.
Three, and this is the most important of all . . . the next time my wife wants to blow a hundred bucks, she won't have to leave home to do it!
This Is Heaven
This 85-year old couple, having been married almost 60 years, died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years, mainly due to her interest in health food, and exercise.
When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen, master bath suite and Jacuzzi.
As they "oohed and aahed," the old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost.
"It's free," Peter replied, "This is Heaven."
Next they went out back to see the championship golf course that the home backed up to. They would have golfing privileges everyday and each week the course changed to a new one representing the great golf courses on Earth.
The old man asked, "What are the green fees?"
Peter's reply, "This is heaven, you play for free."
Next they went to the club house and saw the lavish buffet lunch with the cuisine's of the world laid out. "How much to eat?" asked the old man.
"Don't you understand yet? This is heaven, it is free!" Peter replied.
"Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods?" the old man asked timidly.
"That's the best part," explained Peter, "You can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick. This is Heaven!"
The old man looked at his wife and said, "You and your darned bran muffins! I could have been here ten years ago!!"
10-06-2005, 07:10 PM
#20
1.5 BAR
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,205
Re: Okay ,I wanna hear some good *** jokes and black jokes.
whats 3 things a black guy cant get?..........................a black eye, fat lip and a job
whats the difference between a black guy and a park bench...........................the bench can actually support a family
why do all mexicans want a low rider truck..........................cus its easier to unload the lawn mower out of the back
and just to show that im not racist as well i am also irish so heres a irish joke
why do the irish wear kelts........................so the sheep dont hear then unzip
whats the difference between a black guy and a park bench...........................the bench can actually support a family
why do all mexicans want a low rider truck..........................cus its easier to unload the lawn mower out of the back
and just to show that im not racist as well i am also irish so heres a irish joke
why do the irish wear kelts........................so the sheep dont hear then unzip
