Jokes
12-26-2004, 06:26 AM
#1
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 26
Jokes
1. What do you call a cupboard full of lesbians? A licker cabinet.
2. What do you call an Eskimo lesbian? A Klondyke.
3. What do you call 100 lesbians with guns? Militia Etheridge.
4. Why can't lesbians diet and wear make-up at the same time? Because they can't eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on their face.
5. Why do lesbians like to be reincarnated as whales? So they can have 10 foot tongues and breathe out of the tops of their heads.
6. What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe? Fur Traders.
7. What is a lesbian dinosaur called? A Lickalotapuss.
8. What do you call a lesbian with long fingers? Well Hung.
9. What do two lesbians do when they are having their periods? Fingerpaint.
10. What do lesbians call an open can of tuna? POTPOURRI.
11. What did the lesbian vampire say to her partner? See you next month.
12. Did you hear that Ellen Degeneres drowned? She was found face down in Ricki Lake.
13. How can you tell a tough lesbian bar? Even the pool table doesn't have *****.
14. Do you know what drag is? It's when a man wears everything a lesbian won't.
15. What do you call lesbian twins? Lick-a-likes.
16. How can you tell if a lesbian is butch? She kick-starts her vibrator and rolls her own tampons.
17. What's the definition of confusion? Twenty blind lesbians in a fish market.
18. What's the difference between a ritz cracker and a lesbian? One's a snack cracker, the other a crack snacker!
2. What do you call an Eskimo lesbian? A Klondyke.
3. What do you call 100 lesbians with guns? Militia Etheridge.
4. Why can't lesbians diet and wear make-up at the same time? Because they can't eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on their face.
5. Why do lesbians like to be reincarnated as whales? So they can have 10 foot tongues and breathe out of the tops of their heads.
6. What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe? Fur Traders.
7. What is a lesbian dinosaur called? A Lickalotapuss.
8. What do you call a lesbian with long fingers? Well Hung.
9. What do two lesbians do when they are having their periods? Fingerpaint.
10. What do lesbians call an open can of tuna? POTPOURRI.
11. What did the lesbian vampire say to her partner? See you next month.
12. Did you hear that Ellen Degeneres drowned? She was found face down in Ricki Lake.
13. How can you tell a tough lesbian bar? Even the pool table doesn't have *****.
14. Do you know what drag is? It's when a man wears everything a lesbian won't.
15. What do you call lesbian twins? Lick-a-likes.
16. How can you tell if a lesbian is butch? She kick-starts her vibrator and rolls her own tampons.
17. What's the definition of confusion? Twenty blind lesbians in a fish market.
18. What's the difference between a ritz cracker and a lesbian? One's a snack cracker, the other a crack snacker!
12-26-2004, 06:28 AM
#2
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 26
Re:Jokes
Q. Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A. Ask your mother.
Q. How do you embarrass an archeologist?
A. Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.
Q. What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A. Wiped his ***.
Q. What's the difference between oral sex & ---- sex?
A. Oral sex makes your day, ---- sex makes your hole weak.
Q. What's the difference between a bitch and a -----?
A. A ----- sleeps with everybody at the party, and a bitch sleeps with everybody at the party except you.
Q. What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off?
A. Spitting, swallowing and gargling
Q. What's so good about an Ethiopian blow job?
A. You know she'll swallow.
Q. What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
A. A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.
Q. How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two. The hard part is getting them in the light bulb.
Q. When is a pixie not a pixie?
A. When he's got his head up a fairy's skirt, then he's a goblin.'
Q. What's the definition of a Yankee?
A. Same thing as a "quickie,"only you do it yourself.
Q. What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
A. The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Q. What is the biggest problem for an atheist?
A. No one to talk to during orgasm.
Q. What do you call a smart blonde?
A. A golden retriever.
Q. What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's ***?
A. A mechanic!
Q. Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
A. The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.
Q. Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony?
A. She is the one who can eat the last donut!
Q. How can you tell which is the head nurse?
A. The one with the dirty knees.
Q. What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A. A battery has a positive side.
Q. A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade:Who has the biggest ****?
A. The blonde, because she's 18.
Q. Why do men snore when they lay on their backs?
A. Because their ***** fall over their ------- and they vapor lock.
Q. The three words most hated by men during sex?
A. "Are you In?" or "Is It In?"
Q. Three words women hate to hear when having sex
A. "Honey, I'm home!"
Q. Why do men take showers instead of baths?
A. Pissing in the bath is disgusting.
Q. Did you hear about the new paint called "Blonde" paint?
A. It's not very bright, but it ------s easy.
Q. Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?
A. When you take it off you wonder where her **** went..
Q. When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep.
A. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
Q. How can you tell a macho women?
A. She rolls her own tampons.
Q: What's the leading cause of death among lesbians?
A: Hair *****.
Q: What's good on a pizza, but bad on a -----?
A: Crust.
Q: Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
A: Because Kermit loves sweet and sour pork.
A. Ask your mother.
Q. How do you embarrass an archeologist?
A. Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.
Q. What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A. Wiped his ***.
Q. What's the difference between oral sex & ---- sex?
A. Oral sex makes your day, ---- sex makes your hole weak.
Q. What's the difference between a bitch and a -----?
A. A ----- sleeps with everybody at the party, and a bitch sleeps with everybody at the party except you.
Q. What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off?
A. Spitting, swallowing and gargling
Q. What's so good about an Ethiopian blow job?
A. You know she'll swallow.
Q. What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
A. A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.
Q. How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two. The hard part is getting them in the light bulb.
Q. When is a pixie not a pixie?
A. When he's got his head up a fairy's skirt, then he's a goblin.'
Q. What's the definition of a Yankee?
A. Same thing as a "quickie,"only you do it yourself.
Q. What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
A. The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Q. What is the biggest problem for an atheist?
A. No one to talk to during orgasm.
Q. What do you call a smart blonde?
A. A golden retriever.
Q. What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's ***?
A. A mechanic!
Q. Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
A. The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.
Q. Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony?
A. She is the one who can eat the last donut!
Q. How can you tell which is the head nurse?
A. The one with the dirty knees.
Q. What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A. A battery has a positive side.
Q. A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade:Who has the biggest ****?
A. The blonde, because she's 18.
Q. Why do men snore when they lay on their backs?
A. Because their ***** fall over their ------- and they vapor lock.
Q. The three words most hated by men during sex?
A. "Are you In?" or "Is It In?"
Q. Three words women hate to hear when having sex
A. "Honey, I'm home!"
Q. Why do men take showers instead of baths?
A. Pissing in the bath is disgusting.
Q. Did you hear about the new paint called "Blonde" paint?
A. It's not very bright, but it ------s easy.
Q. Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?
A. When you take it off you wonder where her **** went..
Q. When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep.
A. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
Q. How can you tell a macho women?
A. She rolls her own tampons.
Q: What's the leading cause of death among lesbians?
A: Hair *****.
Q: What's good on a pizza, but bad on a -----?
A: Crust.
Q: Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
A: Because Kermit loves sweet and sour pork.
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