Jigga man

I have a few good ones.

I'm hungover and still slightly drunk from last night. I might have made it home if I didn't snort that rail of coke after getting escorted out of the bar, but the cops wouldn't let me drive

I want to sit at home and jerk off all day. It seems like I never get to do that so I picked today as the day.

I hate life and everything that evolves around it so this job is not even close to being top priority to me. Go ---- yourself with a rusty fork.

If I make it in to work I might just kill you, so it's probably best I stay home.

LSD Motorsports

Damn ive heard some pretty good ones, but i can still add one i think you might like to use.
Excuse: Family member is graduating from high school and your that persons ride their and home

Ravage70

tell em u gotta finish taping the movie before the bangbus moves on to the next state

spoon fed

hhahahahah LOL i think i will use the bangbus one...they should completly understand

dragon

damn really? sorry dude

Doofnoil

"I got some coke that was stepped on and my nose won't stop bleeding."

Doofnoil

and Gastritis is a real affliction...

neil85ae86

my favorite, it's more for when you are already at work, this was what happened to a friend of mine. After a long night of drinking ...oh yeah this guy knows how to drink, he went to work the next morning and had an accident. He quickly went home, he left a note on the bosses desk;

"---- PANTS, WENT HOME!

Matt"



I don't think anyone would dispute it

Neil

R-MAK

blue *****

SkunT

this always works.....