*UPDATED*who wants a surprise, joseph davis is the WINNER
11-22-2003, 06:34 PM
#1
3.0 BAR
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 12,568
*UPDATED*who wants a surprise, joseph davis is the WINNER
HAHA it was tough but i think joseph davis's jokes had me goin the most.. so he wins so joseph if you see this gimme ur addy and you get the mystery box from hell
11-22-2003, 06:54 PM
#3
3.0 BAR
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 21,479
Re:who wants a surprise
Oh boy! I love surprises!!
Sign me up!!!!
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Sign me up!!!!
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11-22-2003, 06:56 PM
#4
0.0 BAR
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 0
Re:who wants a surprise
It better not be the fallowing items
1 Kat Turds
2 Dog Turds
3 Explosives
4 Anthrax
other than that im game.... sign me up to...
Oh yeah heres my post....
The other day I was in the local auto part store. A lady comes in and asks for a seven ten cap. We all look at each other and ask, "What's a seven ten cap?"
She says, "You know, it's right on the engine. Mine got lost somehow and I need a new one."
"What kind of a car is it?" they ask. Now I'm thinking maybe an old Datsun Seven Ten, but no, she says that it's a Buick.
"Okay, Lady, how big is it?"
She makes a circle with her hands about 3 1/2 inches in diameter "What does it do?" we ask.
She says, "I don't know, but it's always been there." One of us gives her a note pad and asks her if she can draw a picture of it. So she makes a circle about 3 1/2 inches in diameter and the center it had 710.
One guy says, "I think you want an oil cap."
She says, "Seven Ten cap, oil cap, I don't care what you call it. I just need one, and I don't see what is so funny about it."
Yes, she was a blonde.
If you read "710" upside down, it spells OIL!
1 Kat Turds
2 Dog Turds
3 Explosives
4 Anthrax
other than that im game.... sign me up to...
Oh yeah heres my post....
The other day I was in the local auto part store. A lady comes in and asks for a seven ten cap. We all look at each other and ask, "What's a seven ten cap?"
She says, "You know, it's right on the engine. Mine got lost somehow and I need a new one."
"What kind of a car is it?" they ask. Now I'm thinking maybe an old Datsun Seven Ten, but no, she says that it's a Buick.
"Okay, Lady, how big is it?"
She makes a circle with her hands about 3 1/2 inches in diameter "What does it do?" we ask.
She says, "I don't know, but it's always been there." One of us gives her a note pad and asks her if she can draw a picture of it. So she makes a circle about 3 1/2 inches in diameter and the center it had 710.
One guy says, "I think you want an oil cap."
She says, "Seven Ten cap, oil cap, I don't care what you call it. I just need one, and I don't see what is so funny about it."
Yes, she was a blonde.
If you read "710" upside down, it spells OIL!
11-22-2003, 08:57 PM
#9
3.0 BAR
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 21,479
Re:*UPDATED*who wants a surprise contest inside
WTF? The rules changed?
Ok, here is my joke.
A guy walks into a bar(imagine that). He sits down at the bar and orders 10 shots of Vodka. The bartender looks at him funny, but gladly pours him 10 shots of Vodka. The guy slams all 10 shots one after the other. The bartender was shocked to see this and says "Damn, what's the celebration all about?". The guy looks up at him and says "My first *******." The bartender says "Oh, that's great man, I tell ya what, I'll buy you a shot." The guy says "Well, thanks alot, but if the first 10 shots didn't get this taste out of my mouth, I doubt the 11th one will.".
Do I win
?? 
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Best Car Insurance | Auto Protection Today | FREE Trade-In Quote
Ok, here is my joke.
A guy walks into a bar(imagine that). He sits down at the bar and orders 10 shots of Vodka. The bartender looks at him funny, but gladly pours him 10 shots of Vodka. The guy slams all 10 shots one after the other. The bartender was shocked to see this and says "Damn, what's the celebration all about?". The guy looks up at him and says "My first *******." The bartender says "Oh, that's great man, I tell ya what, I'll buy you a shot." The guy says "Well, thanks alot, but if the first 10 shots didn't get this taste out of my mouth, I doubt the 11th one will.".
Do I win
?? __________________
Best Car Insurance | Auto Protection Today | FREE Trade-In Quote
11-22-2003, 09:51 PM
#10
1.5 BAR
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 784
Re:*UPDATED*who wants a surprise contest inside
how about this ........a biker joke ( go figure )
A cop is just driving around until he comes upon this bar. He looks around and notices a large number of bikes in front of the bar. So he thinks " mmm im sure someone is going to come out drunk and try to ride home ,I think i'll hang out and see". Not to much later after the cop parks his car a biker stumbles out of the bar ,leaning on the wall for support. He finally is able to stand up ,staggering side to side.
He sits on and tries to crank 4 bikes before he comes to thought nethier is his. By this time the cop is thinking hell ya this ****** is drunk in the mean while 8 bikers saddle up and ride off. Finally the biker finds his bike and saddles up. He just sits there for few breathing in deep then sticks his finger in his mouth and holds it up in the air as if trying to catch the angle of the wind ,6 more bikers ride off by then. The biker pushes his bike forward then just stops and sits there again.
He then cranks his bike revs it a few times then shut it off and does the same thing about 4 times. Well by this time the cop is convinced he is **** *** drunk ,by this time that biker is the only one left. Well the biker finally saddles up and rides off ,the cop is thinking "hell ya i got his guy". The cop pulls the biker over and asks him if he had any drinks. Naturally the biker said " only like one or two guy why do you ask". Not convinced the cop issues a breathalyzer.
The cop tells the guy to blow in it and the biker does. The cop reads the breathalyzer and to his shock its reading clear. The cop is like "wtf what is going on here" confused and pissed he tells the biker to do it ,yeilding the same results. The cop is like whats going on and looks at the biker. The biker having a big grin on his face he says " im the designated decoy".
A cop is just driving around until he comes upon this bar. He looks around and notices a large number of bikes in front of the bar. So he thinks " mmm im sure someone is going to come out drunk and try to ride home ,I think i'll hang out and see". Not to much later after the cop parks his car a biker stumbles out of the bar ,leaning on the wall for support. He finally is able to stand up ,staggering side to side.
He sits on and tries to crank 4 bikes before he comes to thought nethier is his. By this time the cop is thinking hell ya this ****** is drunk in the mean while 8 bikers saddle up and ride off. Finally the biker finds his bike and saddles up. He just sits there for few breathing in deep then sticks his finger in his mouth and holds it up in the air as if trying to catch the angle of the wind ,6 more bikers ride off by then. The biker pushes his bike forward then just stops and sits there again.
He then cranks his bike revs it a few times then shut it off and does the same thing about 4 times. Well by this time the cop is convinced he is **** *** drunk ,by this time that biker is the only one left. Well the biker finally saddles up and rides off ,the cop is thinking "hell ya i got his guy". The cop pulls the biker over and asks him if he had any drinks. Naturally the biker said " only like one or two guy why do you ask". Not convinced the cop issues a breathalyzer.
The cop tells the guy to blow in it and the biker does. The cop reads the breathalyzer and to his shock its reading clear. The cop is like "wtf what is going on here" confused and pissed he tells the biker to do it ,yeilding the same results. The cop is like whats going on and looks at the biker. The biker having a big grin on his face he says " im the designated decoy"
.
